Empty Spaces of You
It’s inside the spaces– the pauses– the infinite stillness– that I most palpably feel the emptiness you’ve left behind. It’s the silence of your missing voice that screams the loudest. It’s every holiday that’s impossible to truly celebrate. It’s the painfully absent goodnight routine. It’s the missing you in every picture of our forever-one-too-small family. [...]
The Sound of Grief
Why do my children decide to climb on the outside and restricted area of the McDonalds play place? The one building they purposely invite you to explore winding slides, rope bridges and twisting tunnels is still not enough to keep them from eagerly pushing the boundaries. Amidst the many children who run, jump and scream [...]
Some days the journey just isn’t quick enough
Quite frankly, this journey is wearing me out. The ups and downs, the twists and turns and then it all stops and sends us into reverse without warning. This portion of the journey seems to just be flailing out of control. I am grieving for Aidan. Everyone is having first birthdays that we sit on [...]
Still Standing
I was originally going to do a series of photos that were going to inspiring and happy and all sorts of awesome, that post was scraped since I can’t lie and pretend that after a year since my first article here on Still Standing things are so much better because they aren’t. In some ways [...]
Empty Spaces of You
It’s inside the spaces– the pauses– the infinite stillness– that I most palpably feel the emptiness you’ve left behind. It’s the silence of your missing voice that screams the loudest. It’s every holiday that’s impossible to truly celebrate. It’s the painfully absent goodnight routine. It’s the missing you in every picture of our forever-one-too-small family. [...]
The Sound of Grief
Why do my children decide to climb on the outside and restricted area of the McDonalds play place? The one building they purposely invite you to explore winding slides, rope bridges and twisting tunnels is still not enough to keep them from eagerly pushing the boundaries. Amidst the many children who run, jump and scream [...]
I am… after loss
Today I share with you a reflection into my very own personal journey of life after loss. I share with you from the very raw to the most extreme emotions I have felt over the last eight years. Many of you will be relate to the uncontrollable emotions that can flip as fast as [...]
Just Breathe…
One of the most sacred moments of my life was the very first time I held Matthew. The environment and his lifeless body, neither were as I had planned, but they were what I had. This was my hello and my goodbye. I sat in my black dress in a chair just a few feet [...]
The Bravery in Asking for Help
Guest Post by Emilee Frisbie If someone would have told me a year ago where I would be now, I never would believe them. I would tell them that stories that sad are made up, purely fiction. I would tell them, things like that don’t happen to me. They don’t happen to my family. I [...]
Try
Mother’s Day. A reminder of what I do have and a reminder of what is missing. I have two amazing sons and a daughter. My little girl died in my arms, because she was born with a fatal birth defect, the day before Mother’s Day and since them I have really hated the day, with [...]
From Hate to Healing
Guest Post by Kristyn I found out I was pregnant 6 months after our wedding. As I watched that second little pink line on the pregnancy test get darker and darker, I instantly fell in love with the tiny being inside me. I remember my husband Mark just staring at me as I told him [...]
Thoughts on Mother’s Day
Guest Post by Megan Skaggs My first Mother’s Day was an incredible mix of emotions. I didn’t really know whether to be happy or sad; or crying or not. I remember feeling quite numb. Our surviving twin son, Will, was about 10 months old. His identical twin brother, MJ, had been dead for about 9 [...]
Finding Strength
Guest Post by Shane Davis “Where there is love, there is life.” -Mother Teresa I’m a crier. When I went into preterm labor with my daughter, Olivia, I was surprised by my lack of tears and the strange strength I got from my shock. And when I held her in my arms knowing this was [...]
I’m Tired, I’m Worn
Guest Post by Melissa Neu I don’t know that I’ve ever been so exhausted. Sit and cry exhausted. Stomach hurting exhausted. “I’m tired, I’m worn, my heart is heavy. From the work it takes, to keep on breathing…” I’ve been seeing a counselor. I had put off making the appt I knew I needed because [...]
Mother’s Day
Guest Post by Stephanie Kreb A reminder of what I do have and a reminder of what is missing. I have two amazing sons and a daughter. My little girl died in my arms, because she was born with a fatal birth defect, the day before Mother’s Day and since them I have really hated [...]
Sunshine
Guest Post by Sharon Chatham At present I am looking at the desktop wallpaper of our computer that my husband chose. To paint a picture, it is, what I can only guess is a sunset into an island horizon over the ocean. In the image, the sun is rising or setting on the right side of [...]
Motherless, Childless, Grateful on Mother’s Day
Guest Post by Laura Beck Mother’s Day. It was always a difficult day for me growing up. It was always a reminder of what I didn’t have and a reminder of what others did have. When I was a newborn I was put up for adoption and given to a couple that truly wanted me. [...]
This Mother’s Day
Guest Post by Robyna This won’t be my first mother’s day. It will be my first without my precious second born son in my arms. Up until now, mother’s day has been about sticky kisses and carefully crafted cards. About my husband trying to let me sleep in whilst my son hugs me and encourages [...]
Stone Project for Our Lost Little Ones
Guest Post by Kelsey Vanderhorst of KVBIJOU Today marks a whole year that weʼve lived and breathed since watching our son slip from this world. A year of firsts. A year of unpredictable heartache. A year of tears and relearning how to live. A year of life without Zachary. Something I never imagined my heart [...]
Surviving Time
Guest Post by Jordanna Cook The speed at which life continues after the death of a child is astonishing. Days and nights pass slowly and painfully. Time stands in quiet stillness, though I beg for its merciful passing. Yet somehow weeks, months, and years disappear with brutal quickness. And time breezes by with agonizing ease, [...]
