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Mollybear4

The Weight of Six Pounds, Six Ounces

I had no idea. I couldn’t believe it.  As I picked the box up from my porch, and saw the sticker, I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I wanted to run.  I didn’t really even want to pick it up because I didn’t know that I’d want to know.  I have found out […]


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Mother’s Day

Mandy

My Wish to You

Day after Mother’s Day, huh?  We did it; we made it through ladies.  We did not set fire to the earth and we are not in jail for punching anyone in the face.  Woo, congrats! Now, on a serious note, I truly hope yesterday was gentle to you. On Saturday I was a part of […]

New Normal

Katy Larsen

Strength and Weakness

I have to admit that for a long time, a very, very, long time, I have been that woman. That woman who felt weak and disempowered by well, life. I allowed the waves to crash upon me with full force and I surrendered to the tide that would pull me so easily under. My spirit […]

Pregnancy After Loss

Melissa Russell

Underlying Fear in Pregnancy after Loss

Today is my due date with our third child. We lost our first child at 19 days old, and then went on to have a beautiful rainbow baby who is now three. As I write this at 39 weeks pregnant, I have no idea what today will bring, whether or not this baby will be […]

Infertility

Mandy

Atheism, Infertility and Grief

I’ve had a really tough time getting these words on the screen and even as I type now I’m not exactly sure how this may end. Still Standing as a whole has a pretty faith-based audience and the majority of writers have some sort of faith, in something.  I used to have faith; it was […]

Parenting After Loss

Handling fear after loss

There are nuances of conversation I have grown to hate; comments that mean no harm but leave me wishing I had said something in response. Among them is a situation that replays itself often. Where the kids run off and I gasp over a cord or a tall slide or a barely missed corner and […]

Grieving Fathers

Jason Swirsky

Code Red

Over the last little while I have been wondering if the time has come to stop writing for Still Standing.  It has been 3.5 years since a rare cord accident took away my Gabi at 32 weeks. She was the baby that we thought we could never have and in the words of one medical […]

Beauty Marks

Eileen Tully

Rebuilding

Losing our little ones is like being in the direct path of a violent and destructive storm.  Sometimes, it’s a hurricane, forecast in advance and long-lasting.  Other times, it’s a tornado that appears out of the blue, wreaks its havoc, and then is gone.  Either way, it’s unavoidable, and we are left, shattered, dealing with […]

Amanda

My Twin Skin

It is the time of year when my Facebook ads and e-mail are bombarded with “weight loss tips”. Advertisers assume that because I’m a woman of a certain age, I must be dissatisfied with my body. If only they knew…. As a woman who struggled through the death of my sons and infertility challenges, my […]

Grieving Grandparents

Calm Before The Storm

Christmas is approaching and for weeks the build up has been going on behind the scenes, teary moments, yearning for our loved ones, almost a calm before the storm. Each year it seems to be different. I remember that first Christmas Cody (02/09/98) died, and then Luke (20/12/98). Luke’s funeral was held just days before Christmas, […]

Comforted By Death

That’s an unusual title of a post, isn’t it? Are people really comforted by death? I think they can be sometimes. Last week, my grandmother died. She had a stroke a few weeks earlier and progressed from ICU to a hospice facility. Our family sat by her side, stroking her hair and whispering our love […]

Causes

Turning the Page…

They say life is written in Chapters. I can’t count the chapters of my life, but I know the chapter that most certainly changed the entire story. It begins with a birth and a death. All in the same day. In many ways, it became a new book, as I am no longer the person […]

On Being Both Pro-Life and Pro-Choice

I somehow found myself in a flame war online. I didn’t plan on it (does anyone?), but before I knew it, I had to respond. However, like most of these things, the topic is more nuanced than we allow for in short online comments. Maybe this is something that needs to said, or at least […]

Guest Writers

nathalieheadshot

Pay Attention To Your Words

Guest Post by Nathalie Himmelrich As bereaved parents, we make meaning with the words we assign to our experiences. This is, in most cases, an unconscious process. Many times it is based on how we used to process our emotions (and experiences in general) as a child, how our parents managed their emotions and how […]

Grey Skies

Guest Post By Krista Cooper Losing our son Grayson was like being struck by lightening. It’s not something you ever expect to happen to you. No one ever tells you that babies die before they’re born. Not to me. Not our family. I’ve never even been stung by a bee, never broken a bone! I […]

Still Taboo. Stillbirth.

Guest post by Jackie Stillbirth. That one word holds so much weight. Sure, I’d heard the term before but never felt the nudge of curiosity to learn more about it. I wish I had. One philosophy I’ve lived by: If I learn about something I do not wish to occur in my life; it simply […]

Nine Months

Guest post by Janelle Nine months, which doesn’t seem like a long amount of time when you compare it to the average life expectancy of 78.7 years in the United States. In other cases nine months can seem like forever when you are carrying one of God’s little miracles inside of you anxiously awaiting their […]

Longing

Guest post by Kristin Just when I think it’s getting easier, it strikes again. Just this morning, I texted a friend because I was feeling guilty that I no longer felt haunted by thoughts of my son. I felt like a monster for “getting over” the death of my child so quickly. Then, I caught […]

The End of Numbness

Guest post by John It’s been two years, two months, and 19 days since I last held my son. 810 days since I held his broken body and sung the hokey-pokey before it was time to let him go. 19,940 hours since the last time I looked at him in person, rather than on a […]

My New Forever

Guest post by Erin I am a baby sea turtle. On the outside I am protected by a strong shell which was built to withstand the elements, but on the inside I am delicate, sensitive. I have just been born, emerging into the crisp bitterness of the cool air. This world is a scary place. […]

A Dear Friend

Guest post by Rachel My friend is going through a hard time at the moment. Scrap that, her life and her husband’s life has changed and the hard time they are going through will always be there. Ten weeks ago, their beautiful boy was born sleeping. I’m not pretending to know how they are feeling, […]

Five Years Later

Guest post by Erin Where am I five years later? Not quite as far along as I thought I’d be. Now that isn’t to say that I am where I was several years ago or that I am not living my life. I can honestly say, with only a fair amount of guilt, that I […]

Missing Cupcakes

Guest post by Rachel It is a beautiful fall day outside. I woke up hopeful because today is my husband’s birthday and I have been planning some surprises for him which is something I have always loved to do. I have been buying and hiding gifts the last few weeks, made mini-vacation plans, and bought […]

Eyes Wide Shut to a Conflicted Mind

Guest post by Jennifer For the last few days I have been struggling with the topic of this post. I’ve been conflicted. This morning, I took a moment to really think about my conflicted feelings. I started searching for a Bible verse to tie into this post. I didn’t know exactly what I was searching […]

Being Happy and Sad

Guest post by Amy Before our son John was stillborn in November 2012, I knew other women who lost babies. I was always sad for them. I never thought that would happen to me though. But it did. And I was devastated, depressed and heart broken. I was changed. Other disappointments in my life seemed […]