The Latest

2013-01-18-10.28.52

On Going Back to Work

I think I made it three hours that first day back. Three hours of avoiding my co-workers, of impotently staring at that same email, and — a few times — of finding the least embarrassing location to break down and sob at the sheer, aching depth of our loss contrasted with the banality of what […]


Join the Discussion!

Mother’s Day

Lori Ennis

(The Day After) Mother’s Day

I’m not sure about how to tactfully say what I want to say. That’s not new. And, as I’ve gotten older and further down the ‘journey’ of life after infertility and loss, I’ve gotten to where I care less about what others think. I saw lots this Mother’s Day. Lots on why being a Mother […]

New Normal

Andy Gillette

On Going Back to Work

I think I made it three hours that first day back. Three hours of avoiding my co-workers, of impotently staring at that same email, and — a few times — of finding the least embarrassing location to break down and sob at the sheer, aching depth of our loss contrasted with the banality of what […]

Pregnancy After Loss

Diana Stone

Standing At The Door

I was supposed to get a cerclage several weeks ago. It was totally optional, nothing has changed and nothing really warrants one. In fact, none of my pregnancies (maybe my daughter’s since I effaced early but didn’t actually go into labor until 37 weeks) would have benefited from one. I had one with my son Kaden and […]

Infertility

Amanda

Off With Her Head!

“Maybe you just can’t carry boys?” I was pregnant for the fourth time, this time with a daughter, and I think in saying this, she thought it would give me comfort. This time, my pregnancy was different. This time it was a girl. All I could think of was Anne Boleyn. She couldn’t have a […]

Parenting After Loss

Lori Ennis

The Cap And Gown I’ll Never See

November is when my son was born. November is when he died. March is when I found out I was pregnant with him. December is when we buried him. Mother’s Day is in May. Oh, June….who knew you could be so hard on my heart? I have been thrilled, to tears really, to see all […]

Grieving Fathers

Andy Gillette

On Going Back to Work

I think I made it three hours that first day back. Three hours of avoiding my co-workers, of impotently staring at that same email, and — a few times — of finding the least embarrassing location to break down and sob at the sheer, aching depth of our loss contrasted with the banality of what […]

Beauty Marks

Lindsey Henke

Scars and Marks Unseen

I have a daughter. She looks just like me. With strawberry blond hair and blue-green eyes that change color with what she wears. Saying “tis” she points her chubby toddler finger at the black and white picture of a baby in the scrapbook in front of us. Softly correcting her I say, “baby, bei-bi”. She […]

Angela Miller

There Is No Winning In Child Loss

A couple weeks ago I had the incredible honor of winning a Butterfly Award in England. The Butterfly Awards honor champions and survivors of baby loss– those making a difference in the lives of bereaved parents. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to accept the award in person, but I did have the honor of writing an […]

Grieving Grandparents

Mothers and Mothers-in-Law

I have written this post over and over again. I am struggling with what to say for Mother’s Day because this is not just about me being a mother, but also about my relationship with my own mother as well as with my mother-in-law. Losing Nate and Sam did not just turn me into a […]

To the Heart Holders

When I was deep in the throes of grief, I needed to talk about losing Aiden. I needed to have the same conversation over and over again because I needed to talk and talk and talk to begin healing. It was the only way I could start to process the trauma of losing him. I […]

Causes

Off With Her Head!

“Maybe you just can’t carry boys?” I was pregnant for the fourth time, this time with a daughter, and I think in saying this, she thought it would give me comfort. This time, my pregnancy was different. This time it was a girl. All I could think of was Anne Boleyn. She couldn’t have a […]

What about the Mom Whose Baby Died?

A response to the #sogladtheytoldme initiative. I recently participated in the #sogladtheytoldme movement lead by Stephanie Sprenger, a mom and fellow blogger, who started the campaign to raise awareness about the difficulties of transitioning into motherhood and the realities of postpartum depression among women in her blog post, I’m Glad Someone Told Me. It was […]

Guest Writers

tim lantern

What Do Your Children Think?

I have worked to support families walking through the loss of a baby for the last decade, forming a perinatal hospice and bereavement support service for the last two years. Everyday, I am interacting with a mother who has lost her baby…whether online, on the telephone, or in person…helping to dress tiny babies at the […]

nathalieheadshot

Pay Attention To Your Words

Guest Post by Nathalie Himmelrich As bereaved parents, we make meaning with the words we assign to our experiences. This is, in most cases, an unconscious process. Many times it is based on how we used to process our emotions (and experiences in general) as a child, how our parents managed their emotions and how […]

Grey Skies

Guest Post By Krista Cooper Losing our son Grayson was like being struck by lightening. It’s not something you ever expect to happen to you. No one ever tells you that babies die before they’re born. Not to me. Not our family. I’ve never even been stung by a bee, never broken a bone! I […]

Still Taboo. Stillbirth.

Guest post by Jackie Stillbirth. That one word holds so much weight. Sure, I’d heard the term before but never felt the nudge of curiosity to learn more about it. I wish I had. One philosophy I’ve lived by: If I learn about something I do not wish to occur in my life; it simply […]

Nine Months

Guest post by Janelle Nine months, which doesn’t seem like a long amount of time when you compare it to the average life expectancy of 78.7 years in the United States. In other cases nine months can seem like forever when you are carrying one of God’s little miracles inside of you anxiously awaiting their […]

Longing

Guest post by Kristin Just when I think it’s getting easier, it strikes again. Just this morning, I texted a friend because I was feeling guilty that I no longer felt haunted by thoughts of my son. I felt like a monster for “getting over” the death of my child so quickly. Then, I caught […]

The End of Numbness

Guest post by John It’s been two years, two months, and 19 days since I last held my son. 810 days since I held his broken body and sung the hokey-pokey before it was time to let him go. 19,940 hours since the last time I looked at him in person, rather than on a […]

My New Forever

Guest post by Erin I am a baby sea turtle. On the outside I am protected by a strong shell which was built to withstand the elements, but on the inside I am delicate, sensitive. I have just been born, emerging into the crisp bitterness of the cool air. This world is a scary place. […]

A Dear Friend

Guest post by Rachel My friend is going through a hard time at the moment. Scrap that, her life and her husband’s life has changed and the hard time they are going through will always be there. Ten weeks ago, their beautiful boy was born sleeping. I’m not pretending to know how they are feeling, […]

Five Years Later

Guest post by Erin Where am I five years later? Not quite as far along as I thought I’d be. Now that isn’t to say that I am where I was several years ago or that I am not living my life. I can honestly say, with only a fair amount of guilt, that I […]

Missing Cupcakes

Guest post by Rachel It is a beautiful fall day outside. I woke up hopeful because today is my husband’s birthday and I have been planning some surprises for him which is something I have always loved to do. I have been buying and hiding gifts the last few weeks, made mini-vacation plans, and bought […]

Eyes Wide Shut to a Conflicted Mind

Guest post by Jennifer For the last few days I have been struggling with the topic of this post. I’ve been conflicted. This morning, I took a moment to really think about my conflicted feelings. I started searching for a Bible verse to tie into this post. I didn’t know exactly what I was searching […]