My husband and daughter are about an hour away, learning all the cool things that come with being part of an outdoor education club, and instead of hanging out with friends and sipping on a cinnamon mocha, I’m inside my house, NOT cleaning, not doing anything but panicking. I am terrified I’m going to lose…
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Reflecting on September (My Month of Grief and Joy)
Continue...September. The ninth month of the year. The one month that has me battling emotions all over the place. The one month I dread and look forward to. September. Who knew one month would hold so much, would have such an impact. You see two of my sons were born in September and dates that…
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Sibling Grief: Missing What You’ve Never Known
Continue...Girlie – never in your seven years have you asked for a sibling. “I don’t want a brother or sister! Only to clean up my playroom.” You state this like it’s a fact. Like you know the pros and cons of sharing your DNA with another human, smaller and younger than you, but still your…
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On Sibling Loss: She Grieves Too
Continue...When we told her she had a sister who’d died, I did not expect her to grieve. The loss had occurred two years previously, when she’d been just a baby herself, and my husband and I hadn’t said anything to her at the time, knowing there was no way she could understand the death of…
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A Rainbow Child Remembers
Continue...“What’s wrong, Madeline? Why do you look so sad?” “I miss my brother,” she says, leaning forward in the shopping cart to lay her head on my chest as she begins to cry softly. “I know, baby girl. I miss him too.” I hug her close and slowly push the shopping cart down the aisle…
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Bereaved Mom Guilt: When You Feel Like You Deserved This
Continue...“You’re an awful mother. And that’s why your children are gone.” I fight this lie every single day. Some days though, I just can’t fight it. I don’t have the energy, and I’m convinced that the reason my babies are dead… is because I didn’t love them enough. I didn’t deserve to keep them so…
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A Tangible Reminder: Six Plates
Continue...Today I made lunch for my son who is no longer here. My sister Kelley and her kids came over to hang out for the day. Eventually, hunger grumbles started to emerge from the horde of children, and so, I started making lunch just like I have done hundreds of times over. Without a second…
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