I remember the day I met you, my rainbow baby, like it was yesterday. The dark. The winter cool. The solitude. The way my hips swayed as hot water poured down my back. How months of anxiety eased beneath the tension of each contraction. And how pain made me breathe in sharp and strong at…
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Remembering During the Holidays
Continue...The holidays are undoubtedly some of the most difficult times for families who have lost a child. As you watching everyone count their blessings, you are thinking of the one who is missing from your Thanksgiving table. You see all of your friends fill Christmas stockings, and become hyper-aware of the one left empty next…
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Torn Between Death and Life
Continue...Recently, my husband and I welcomed our “rainbow” twin daughters into the world. (I am hesitant to use the term rainbow baby because I used it with my son, who we lost.) Pregnancy after loss was one of the most challenging moments of my life. It was difficult to get through each day knowing all…
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Raising A Rainbow: A Brand New Layer Of Grief
Continue...Just over three months ago, my husband and I welcomed our third daughter, our rainbow baby. While awaiting her birth, I was thrilled about the color she would certainly restore to our world, but I was not naive. I had experienced sufficient life after loss to understand that the birth of my rainbow would neither…
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Recording Every Second
Continue...Confession time: I am a picture-taking addict. It’s become a bit ridiculous, actually, according to my daughter. She has grown up with a camera always at hand in her Mama’s bag and has no problem telling me to knock it off. Not that I do, I take pictures more covertly. From the moment she was…
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The Questions She Asks
Continue...Four and a half years. We made it to age four and a half before our little rainbow daughter asked the question all parents know will eventually come… “How do babies get made? How do they get out of mommy’s tummy?” With a new baby cousin on the way and plenty of baby brothers and…
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Missing Trick-or-Treaters
Continue...October has always been my favorite for all the obvious reasons- changing colors, crunchy leaves…pumpkin spice lattes. It’s the month I got married and the month I was born. It’s almost always been filled with happiness. October last year I felt on top of the world with the announcement of our 4th pregnancy on my…
