Re-entering the real world after our daughter died was painful. Simple trips to the grocery store became a minefield of grief. It was so emotional to recount our loss to the unknowing cashier and felt devastating to see others avoid us only to scurry down another aisle. It wasn’t only the grocery store that was…
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Before and After: Getting To Know The New Me
Continue...When I look back at photos now, I can always tell if they were taken before or after we lost Benjamin. The “before” me had a glint in her eye. She was relaxed and had an innocence about her that I can only feel jealous of now. Life had not yet taken its toll. Then you look…
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Choosing to Stop Trying for More (Living) Children
Continue...In case no one has ever said this to you, I want you to know – It’s okay to stop trying. For children. For living children. For more children. Even if you have never been able to get pregnant. Even if all of your babies died and you don’t have any living children. Even if…
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Journeying Through Grief Without A Final Destination
Continue...I have been traveling through my grief journey for over two years now. When my infant daughter died in my arms on that fateful June morning, all the hopes and dreams I had for her future shattered like glass beneath my feet. While I had no idea what life would look like in the aftermath…
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Scars: Call Me A Work In Progress
Continue...Infertility and infant loss have left me with deep emotional scars. The scars that I carry from my struggle with infertility never went away. Even when I was pregnant with Asher, my reaction to other people’s pregnancy announcements remained the same. I felt like some people didn’t struggle enough to get pregnant and that fact…
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Being A Grieving Parent Sucks
Continue...Life as a grieving parent is unimaginable. You never realize how much you are going to change; how other relationships will change. Life becomes different. As a grieving parent, you constantly doubt yourself, question yourself, question your relationship with others, question your relationship with grief. Am I sad enough? Do I grieve enough? Am I…
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Impulsivity and Crazy Grief – How Losing You Made Me Brave
Continue...I live, and she doesn’t. It’s a harsh and devastating reality I have to live with every day for the rest of my natural life. My grief has evolved over the four years since she passed away, as I’m sure she would have if she lived. And I’m sure it will continue to change as…
