I recently sat in my boss’s office for my annual evaluation. I teach 4th grade, and my principal had some data pulled up on the screen in front of us. “So,” she started. “What do you think has been the biggest change this year? Something you’re proud of?” I hesitated, of course, but, luckily, I…
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Managing Fear And Anxiety After Loss
Continue...To say I was fearful after my daughter died would be an understatement. I was suddenly acutely aware that anyone I loved could be taken at any moment. The fear and anxiety were relentless. It was less of “Life is precious,” and more of “This could be the last time we ever speak, hug, see…
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One Can Dream
Continue...This is an entry from my journal. I’m sharing this because I know there are so many people out there who don’t get it. And there are so many people out there who do. Oct 10, 2017 So, while standing at the checkout, a cute little boy at the grocery store showed me his stuffed…
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It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way
Continue...On the hard days, when I’m fiercely missing my babies in heaven or, more recently, longing for the new baby we dream of welcoming into our lives through adoption, all I can think is, ‘It’s not supposed to be this way.” The deep soul-jerking emotions come on so suddenly and intensely that I’ve begun to…
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Postpartum Depression after Miscarriage
Continue...Mothers who have given birth in the first or second trimester are not immune to postpartum depression because the length of their pregnancy was shorter than desired. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, indicators of Postpartum Depression (PPD) can include: Feeling sad, hopeless, empty, or overwhelmed Crying more often than usual or for…
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Senses and Memories: When Spring Triggers A Wave Of Grief
Continue...Grief is complicated. Even more complicated when your triggers are as subtle as the feeling of Spring emerging after a long Winter. My first Spring after the loss of my son, I was hit with a wave of grief. At first, I noticed a strange feeling as I sat alone in my office. Not really…
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Why Did I Say It Was Okay?
Continue...I know you know the conversation. It could be with a stranger or someone you have known for years. The subject of kids comes up. They ask if you are a mom or how many kids you have. They ask how you are doing, how you are feeling, how you are coping. You share your truth.…
