For 10 years, I’ve carried anger, wondering and questioning of how my son came down with an “unknown virus” that took his life. Sickness, shared at school, was ultimately what killed my child. Austin was a healthy, active, sports-loving 14-year old who was riding his bike around our neighborhood when his airway was attacked. One…
-
Resuming a Career After Loss
Continue...When I left my satisfying career after the birth of my second child, my husband and I devised a plan to get me back to work as soon as our oldest began kindergarten. We had all sorts of plans. To say little Reece wasn’t the ultimate surprise pregnancy would be coloring it lightly. I really…
-
Please Accept My Regret When I Struggle To Celebrate Your Miracle
Continue...Recently, a friend of mine announced a miracle. And it was, truly. I should have been overjoyed — she is a wife and mom who deserves to be with her loved ones. I should have been relieved — the loss of her would be absolutely tragic in every way. I should have been grateful — but I found myself feeling…
-
Holiday Pregnancy Announcements And Social Media Anxiety
Continue...After spending a lot of time in various infertility support groups over the last decade of my adulthood, I’ve learned just how deep the roots of social media anxiety goes when it comes to the holidays and pregnancy announcements. Everyone who struggles knows they are coming. It’s like a ticking time bomb we’re all just…
-
Anxiety Is A Jerk
Continue...My husband and daughter are about an hour away, learning all the cool things that come with being part of an outdoor education club, and instead of hanging out with friends and sipping on a cinnamon mocha, I’m inside my house, NOT cleaning, not doing anything but panicking. I am terrified I’m going to lose…
-
Moving On To Never Moving On
Continue...I have been there, and if you are reading this, maybe you have been, too. Or maybe you know someone who has but you don’t even realize it. It goes something like this… You get the courage to venture out to the store after a morning of crying and facing another wave of grief. You…
-
The Fear of Being Alone
Continue...I have a fear of being alone. My daughter Madison will have been gone 3 years on October 17th. I have faced many things in the days and months that have passed since we received the shocking news that she was gone and then delivered her silently into the world. I have learned to laugh…
