Don’t tell me God is good. Well, at least don’t tell me that when it’s attached to something like:
You got the job! (God is good!)
You closed on the house! (God is good!)
That car barely missed you at the intersection! (God is good!)
You’re carrying twins! (God is good!)
See where I am going with this? Because the reality is that if you believe God is good:
Then He’s good all the time.
Like when you lose the job. Or the house is foreclosed. Or your car is totaled.
Or the twins die.
And while I believe that to be true, because I believe the nature of God is unchanging… would you ever in a million years tell someone who just lost their baby to cancer: “Isn’t God sooooo good, though? Wow, didn’t He do it right?”
No. You wouldn’t. (And shouldn’t!)
Related: When Grief Takes Work And Time
I have such a hard time with people saying, “God is good!” in response to whatever good things happen to them.
Found a parking space, YAY GOD! Got a raise, YAY GOD! It’s a great hair day, YAY GOD!
As if it is sort of an obligatory thanks to an intangible entity in a bottle making all the good things happen.
Because for those of us who have had to hear, “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat,” or “There’s nothing we can do,” or even, “We’re sorry, we have to let you go,” what are we supposed to think?
God isn’t good?
I look at so many people I know from the last eight years—this eight years we’ve navigated life after losing our children and having to figure out where our faith and our reality converge.
I know many who just stopped believing in God at all, and you know what? I totally don’t blame them.
I hate it for them because I know what hope my faith brings me, but I honestly get where they are coming from.
Because when we, those who claim the good news of Christ, go around making Him seem as if He’s only good (or praised) when life is going good—we alienate so many people.
So many desperate people.
I’m not saying that the opposite of “God is good,” in response to something good happens means we should go around reminding people to ‘praise in the storm,’ when their worlds are crumbling.
Gracious, NO, do NOT do that either.
Related: There’s Always A Choice
Jesus didn’t tell Lazarus’s sisters to buck up and give thanks as their brother lay dead.
He cried. With them. He knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead and still? He wept for his friend and with his friend’s family because it hurt.
Death hurts.
I’m also not saying that God does not deserve praise and gratitude and thanks for everything we have, are and that He does in this world.
I’m just saying that I’ve had to reconcile God being good despite the things happening in my life.
Despite the coffins and the beating hearts no longer beating… the cancers that stole and the lives forever changed in this hard world, I’ve had to figure out how God is good when you get to take your child home and my son is dead in the ground.
It’s not been easy, and if our calling in life is truly to love God and love one another…we can’t do it without being real. Honest about life being hard and that we will be heartbroken.
Honest that God isn’t just good because we get the job or the new house or the miraculous healing (those always sting the most with me).
He’s good because He grieves with us and mourns with us and walks with us as He redeems our pain and heals our hearts.
Related: Even On The Hardest Days; He’s Clinging To You
Tell people that, when you want them to know God is good.
Tell them that your world was shattered and He picked you up and kept you breathing.
Tell them that you didn’t know how you’d face another minute and He gave you the strength to do so.
Tell them you stood in church daring God to heal your heart, crying in the most pain and agony you’ve ever felt… and He gave you unimaginable strength and healing.
Tell them that He still does that. Daily.
That’s the God people need to know.
The everlasting, enduring One, regardless of the circumstance.
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Photo: Ben White/Unsplash
I’m small, but scrappy! I have a fierce passion for my family, friends and life in general…I’m a military spouse who has battled infertility for over 13 years, as well as the loss of two babies gone too soon. I love to laugh, and am grateful for every second I celebrate with the ones I love. You can find me at my blog Lori Does Maryland or on Facebook Lori Mullins Ennis or on The Twitter here Lori M. Ennis
God is good all of the time. We say it when we are happy, and may not say it when we are sad, but it’s still the perfect thing to say when we are rejoicing. Too many posts these days telling others what to say………..
I appreciate hearing what to say from someone who has walked a difficult road, though. I often wonder, and end up either being silent (wrong) or saying the wrong thing (also wrong).
Yes, God is good all of the time. But the point of the article was to say: if we only say “God is good” when something good is happening in our lives, where does that leave the rest of us when terrible things are happening? How am I to reconcile that God is good when my 2-year-old gets a cancer diagnosis? Lori’s answer: God is good because he is walking this cancer road with us. God is good because he held on to me when I felt like I couldn’t hold on to him. God is good because he hates cancer, too, and is with us through this storm. When I only hear people claiming that God is good in the good times, it certainly leads me to question whether he’s good in the bad times; I spent a full year trying to sort through this exact scenario. Lori’s answer (THANK YOU, LORI), I believe, encourages all of us to proclaim that God is good all the time…maybe we just need to rethink how we proclaim it.
@Nancy–this was more me telling people what ‘not’ to say if they weren’t willing to be honest and real. So I agree…we need less “say this” and more, “think about this before you say that.” 🙂
I am sorry but I am one of those people that when I get a good check up from my doctor I praise Him by saying thanks and God is good . But I am also the person when I thought I was going to loose my eye from cancer I cried then thanked Him and told people God is good . He has a plan not sure what yet but He will provide and it will be better than I thought for myself. It says to praise Him for everything . I try. I don’t want people to judge me for saying He is good when something good happens you don’t know my heart He does and the only thing that matters is that .
I appreciate your comment. I give God thanks for ‘good’ things too. But I know we live in a broken world and I don’t feel like when evil happens, my first response should be “God is good.” I don’t think he expects that either because that’s not what He told Lazarus’s sisters–“Hey gals! I’m good though! Watch!” I don’t mean to be flippant, and I am sorry for your cancer–glad you did not lose your eye.
I don’t know your heart but I DO know that when talking to grieving people–your heart isn’t the only thing that matters. Even your intent doesn’t matter if you’re breaking someone else’s heart. We need to realize that in representing Christ, sometimes, we just need to weep with those weeping like He asked. No speaking for Him, no talk of better plans or His goodness when the world feels like Hell. Just.mourning.with.them.
With permission, I would like to share this article… It’s kind of in line of the above blog but goes a bit deeper…
It’s about spiritual clichés that should never be said to a grieving person Who lost a child… So many times I think people say these things to make them look good, without realizing this serious damage they caused.
https://www.calebwilde.com/2015/01/23-spiritualized-comfort-cliches-to-avoid-when-a-child-dies-3/
Thank you for this article Lori. I totally relate.
John.ive read the article you suggested+agree 100% with it.Im an atheist anyway,always have been.
Despite that iv always been kind,good, to others. I dont need religion telling me how to behave.
My child got murdered +dumped like garbage.Any1 religious reading this got any ideas why this wss allowed
to happen?