The death of our child is termed a ‘primary loss‘. Sadly, it’s not the only loss we must endure. Many bereaved parents fail to realize that the moment our child dies, we begin to experience ‘secondary losses‘. And these, like the devastating loss of our child, must also be grieved. For those new to the…
-
- Dealing With Others in Grief
- Life After Loss
- Supporting a Friend After Loss
- Supporting a Friend Through Loss
Saying “At Least” Is Not Comforting After Child Loss – Here’s What To Say Instead
Continue...Over the years, I’ve learned to ignore anything that comes after the words “at least” as it relates to the loss of my son. Statements that start with “at least” are not comforting or helpful to parents grieving a child and here is why: It completely invalidates their loss, their child and their suffering. At least…
-
Straight Talk About A Convoluted Situation: Suicide
Continue...Guest Post by William R. Newhouse. Bio: Retired engineer. Former Naval officer. Married. One natural son (died) and two stepsons. 68 years old. Eleven years ago my 19-year-old son committed suicide. The article below is something I wrote to try and educate others as to how to interact with a parent who has lost a…
-
- Community
- Dealing With Others in Grief
- Doing Good
- Supporting a Friend After Loss
- Supporting a Friend Through Loss
Be Who You Needed
Continue...I don’t always know the right thing to say. Sometimes, I say something so idiotic that for the next week I replay it in my mind, and wish I would have been swallowed by a sinkhole before I could say that dumb thing. Sometimes, in my attempt to be funny, I say something horrible or…
-
Want To Support A Bereaved Mother? Do This…
Continue...Twice I have carried to term babies with fatal diagnoses. Twice I have said goodbye to babies far sooner than I wanted. And twice I have climbed into the car, my body freshly postpartum, with no baby. Twice I have stumbled along, figuring out how to be a mother to a child who is no…
-
Infant Loss and Grief: I Don’t Know What To Say
Continue...If I had a dollar for every time I have heard someone say, “I don’t know what to say to someone who’s lost a baby,” I would be rolling in piles of cash. I wouldn’t blame a single confessor of this truth. The topic of baby and infant loss is so taboo and silenced that…
-
But Will You Just Sit With Me In Grief?
Continue...“I know, I know. It’s hard to just sit in a society that says, ‘Go, move, say, do.’ But there’s nothing you can do to ease the pain in my heart. Nothing you can say that will provide the healing my soul needs. It’s hard for me too, to just sit, to say few words.…
10. 
