I don’t always know the right thing to say. Sometimes, I say something so idiotic that for the next week I replay it in my mind, and wish I would have been swallowed by a sinkhole before I could say that dumb thing. Sometimes, in my attempt to be funny, I say something horrible or…
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Want To Support A Bereaved Mother? Do This…
Continue...Twice I have carried to term babies with fatal diagnoses. Twice I have said goodbye to babies far sooner than I wanted. And twice I have climbed into the car, my body freshly postpartum, with no baby. Twice I have stumbled along, figuring out how to be a mother to a child who is no…
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Infant Loss and Grief: I Don’t Know What To Say
Continue...If I had a dollar for every time I have heard someone say, “I don’t know what to say to someone who’s lost a baby,” I would be rolling in piles of cash. I wouldn’t blame a single confessor of this truth. The topic of baby and infant loss is so taboo and silenced that…
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But Will You Just Sit With Me In Grief?
Continue...“I know, I know. It’s hard to just sit in a society that says, ‘Go, move, say, do.’ But there’s nothing you can do to ease the pain in my heart. Nothing you can say that will provide the healing my soul needs. It’s hard for me too, to just sit, to say few words.…
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It’s OK To Just Listen
Continue...Sometimes in life, all we need is for someone to listen to us. No solutions, no opinions, no judgement. Yet often what we get is quite the opposite. In people’s rush to try and make our pain go away they can inadvertently steamroll over our thoughts and feelings. We are on a journey, a sometimes…
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The Dos And Don’ts Of Talking To Homicide-Loss Parents
Continue...Most people don’t know how to speak to a homicide-loss parent. They’re lost for words. I get that — homicide is very frightening. So, here’s a list of dos and don’ts to remember: 1. Call the murder victim by their name. Homicide loss survivors are no different to other child loss parents or siblings —…
Christian-ese and Grief: Why Those Platitudes Don’t Help The Mourning
After the unexpected death of our son, Turner, everything I knew and felt about my faith and God was shattered. How could my Heavenly Father, who I believe is good and loving, ever want one of his children to experience the death of one of their children? Where was God when I was praying and…