You missed one of our stockings this year, the one for the baby who is not here.
There were no toys inside it, no joyful smiles or giggles rising up beside it.
No memories to play over as images in my mind, nothing but sadness and sorrow left behind.
This empty stocking is like the emptiness in my heart that began when my baby and I were torn apart.
A truck or a stuffed animal our baby would enjoy, a precious toy for our little baby boy.
I remember him most every day.
Deep down inside, I wish he could stay.
That was not my plan nor my story plot, yet it is God’s job to make us what we are not.
Sometimes God asks us to do the hard things so that we can find what His kingdom brings.
Suffering and hurt can send us to our knees, but our Father is the “God Who Sees.”
He sees each tear that falls from my eye, and He is saddened too when I cry.
Yet I know that God’s Kingdom gains the glory, for I would never have chosen this story.
As we walk this long road of suffering ahead, I remember by whom I have been lead.
Yet my son does not need toys in Heaven above, for he is surrounded by God’s infinite love.
Santa, I forgot how full his stocking already was – full of hope, love, and eager expectation.
Because a Savior was sent from His Father to earth to come into the world through His virgin birth.
We also remember Jesus’ sacrifice.
No other home for God’s children would suffice.
For Father and Son chose to suffer alone in order to bring all of God’s children home.
Baby Jesus was born to die on the cross, so God the Father has likewise suffered loss in order to open the eyes of the blind.
So that everyone on earth could one day find the peace and love that flows from the Savior, simply because God showed us His favor.
God chose us and gave us His grace by sending His Son to die in our place, so if it is possible I have just one request:
Santa, go up to Heaven and send our baby the best of the love and care that can be provided and someday our family will be reunited.
On that day, when I enter Heaven’s gates, I will embrace my child and say, “I’m sorry I’m late.”
For in the fullness of time, it will not matter whether you held your baby on Earth or if you were shattered.
These things will not matter, not matter much at all.
In comparison to eternity, a lifetime is quite small.
For each child on Earth, mere humans do not own. All souls belong to the Almighty God on the throne.
So Santa, if you soar by the Heavenly skies, could you stop and look into our baby’s eyes?
Tell him how much we miss him down here and how we wish we could hold him near.
And before you leave and fly by the moon, leave him this message: “I’ll be there soon!”
I can almost hear from a cloud up above my son saying, “That’s my Mommy that I love.”