Motherhood begins the moment a woman opens herself to the idea of becoming a mother.
Her motherhood is not measured by the size or number of her babies, nor whether she has ever held them, heard their heartbeat, or given them a name.
No, a mother is made when her heart opens to the possibility of motherhood, and she is still a mother.
Sometimes it is by her choice and happens quickly.
Other times, she will yearn for years to feel a precious one growing inside her.
She will do everything she can to have a child, and if it never happens, her heart will be broken by dreams unfulfilled, her arms forever missing a child of her heart.
She is still a mother.
This Is What Infertility Looks Like…
Sometimes her child is with her for mere weeks, not nearly long enough to feel their butterfly kicks or their limbs stretching inside her.
She will always wish for more memories of her ethereal babe.
She is still a mother.
Sometimes her baby grows big and strong inside her womb, ready to make its journey to the outside.
Yet the breath of life leaves before air can fill its lungs.
Its cries will never pierce the quiet of a silent room.
She is still a mother.
The Unique Grief of Losing Your First Born to Stillbirth
Sometimes her precious baby’s journey out was too long, or too bumpy, and its injuries too severe to survive this harsh world.
Her precious one will never stand tall to walk or shout its name from a mountaintop.
The peace and comfort of a mother’s womb are all this child will ever know or remember.
She is still a mother.
Sometimes a woman finds out that her beloved has a condition that won’t allow it to survive outside of her, or if it could, its life would be so difficult and painful and full of suffering that she chooses her own suffering instead.
I Am The Face Of A Heartbreaking Choice
Hers is a terrible sacrifice that she would never wish upon another soul.
She is still a mother.
Sometimes a brave mother’s baby has made it through labor and joined her, healthy and strong, on the outside.
But then it slips away days, weeks, months, even years later.
Its mother’s cries will echo across time and space as she searches for answers, but can never bring her precious one back to her.
Straight Talk About A Convoluted Situation: Suicide
She is still a mother.
Whatever the reason her beloved child is not in her arms, she is still a mother.
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Photo by Daiga Ellaby/Unsplash
Robynne Knight is a writer, educator, and acupuncturist who lost her daughter, Zoë, to stillbirth in 2011. She is passionate about sharing her experience with grief and loss, and helping others find growth and healing through her writing, private practice, and sharing support and resources through The Zoë Project.
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