A beautiful sunrise greeted me this morning, as I looked out our back deck.
Many years ago, I learned to truly appreciate a sunrise. The light would wake me from my hospital bed, set up in the living room, where I recovered from a wreck that nearly took my life. Each day, as the sun shone on my face, I would lift up a prayer for another day with my family.
But then, the sunrise became cruel. This view above, right at that tree line, is where we lost our 14-year-old son.
In the beginning, I wondered if I could ever look out the window again. If a sunrise could possibly bring me joy, when it was also a reminder of another day without my son.
And seeing any sunrise forced me to look at the very place he left us.
I lost my son on a dark November night seven years ago. Darkness was all I knew for what felt like forever. I clung to it because light was too painful. Sunshine didn’t seem right.
Slowly, I realized my son was no longer trapped in the pains of this world. Whatever darkness and sadness I was left with here, I knew he no longer felt. He was -and is forever- in the light.
Now, the sunrise is a greeting from God. A hello from where Austin is. The gift of a new day. And the realization that I have survived again.
The sun, even in November, is a smiling reminder of my sweet boy and how far we have come in this child loss journey.
When you know great loss, you know how precious life is. We aren’t promised tomorrow. So I live each day to the fullest to honor my son. Even in November.
In 2008, my world as I knew it changed forever, with the sudden loss of our 14-year-old son, Austin. The journey to my blog (and attitude toward life) was bumpy and tearful, beginning at a memorial blog for my son. I later chose to take another path, challenging myself to find the JOY in every day, despite the sadness I still felt. I love and miss him daily but I’m living my life to honor him – and celebrating every moment it brings. My goal…to find and share the joy in every day. You can find me at Joyful Challenge
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