There is a fine line between living and living life, just ask any grieving parent. Living a life of grief can mean barely going through the daily motions, with little care or regard for food, sleep, entertainment, or conversation. You are numb. You ache. You do not find pleasure in that which once brought excitement because the broken soul left behind to mend has nothing left to give or receive. You are just alive, barely living. Only breathing. Barely breathing.
Related: I Lost My Heart But I’m Still Breathing
And one day, it happens. You inhale. You smile. You laugh. You feel guilty about smiling and laughing, but it keeps happening. You are feeling life. Engaging in life. Living life. It takes effort, but it keeps happening. You begin to eat and sleep again, feeling a desperate need to get “back to you.” You see your pep, your zest, your determination return. You are breathing and living, with conscious effort. You are surviving.
Determined, focused effort will help you turn the survival of yourself into the revival of your soul.
- List the hobbies, interests, dreams, loves, wants, and wishes that define you. Who are you? What activities make you happy? What dreams do you want to reach?
- Circle the activities or items that you have stopped, given up on, or pushed to the side through the years, and have neglected more so since grief has entered your life.
- Create a new list using the circled items. Focus for a moment on these activities. Why did you stop? Did you stop pre/post loss? Would this activity inspire the new you?
- Add to the list any new hopes dreams, or hobbies that would interest, define, and revive you. Grief changes and reshapes facets of our being, so it is important to take the time to discover and reflect on any new interests, challenges, or passions that may arise from the ashes of heartbreak.
- Begin your revival by choosing one dream to chase, one goal that you want to attain, or one passion to reignite. Create a Revival Journal. Reflect upon your dreams. Write down your goals. Draw, photograph, or document the journey of your soul’s revival in some way that captures your new life of grief. And one day, it will happen. You will flourish. You will feel a revival of your soul, even though you are living a life of grief.
photo credit Ginny Limer
Ginny Limer is a mother of five, teacher, and adventurer from Fort Worth, Texas. She founded Scared Sidless, a 501(c)3 nonprofit in order to support bereaved families, unite grieving siblings, and promote a lifestyle of creative, healthy grieving. Just as you exhale grief, Ginny encourages you to inhale hope.
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