Devan McGuinness

About Devan McGuinness

Devan McGuinness is the founder of the online resource Unspoken Grief, dedicated to breaking the silence of perinatal grief for those directly and indirectly affected by miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death. Using her own experience of surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan has been actively supporting and encouraging others who are wading through the challenges associated with perinatal and neonatal loss.

Whispers and Worries

parenting through grief

Sitting quietly in my room, the kids are all tucked in bed -- or so I thought. I hear a small knock at the door and enters my 4-year old daughter. She often pops into our bed to cuddle at night so I thought it was just going to be the same -- a quick cuddle and she's fall right to sleep. But, she had other things on her mind this night. … [Read more...]

I See You

pregnant after loss

My belly is round. My baby is moving, healthy, and growing inside. It was a long time coming after a hard battle with infertility. The fear is still there after 12 losses and scary uncertainty. I am happy, hopeful, and excited. Looking to the future with plans, dreams, and hope for him. And I see you. I recognize that glace, that … [Read more...]

Losing the Innocence of Pregnancy

Losing the Innocence of Pregnancy

Miscarriage can leave scars on our hearts far beyond waiting for the physical reminders to go away. In it's place comes something that can stay with us far longer than we ever realized and ever hoped. That's the strange thing about grief and our experiences, even when we don't expect it to -- it can shape our view of the world. And that's a complicated … [Read more...]

Anxiety Can Creep In When You Least Expect It

anxiety FI

:: Anxiety :: :: deep breath :: I was fine a few moments ago. A phone call changed my heart rhythm, I can feel it beating in my head. :: deep breath :: An appointment was made for next week and I know it will be in the back of my mind until it's over. :: it's just a doctor appointment :: A simple prenatal appointment causes my anxiety … [Read more...]

Common Reactions to Uncommon Multiple Miscarriage

Common Reactions to Uncommon Multiple Miscarriage

We all know that miscarriage is not widely talked about. Those of us grieving tend to seek out someone to talk to, some way to share our hearts and our feelings because that's what you do when you're grieving. The silence seems to come from other people, the uncomfortable cloud that appears when we start to talk about our cloud, often from someone who … [Read more...]

Positive Reasons To Talk About Miscarriage

Talk about miscarriage

The silence is all around us. The moment we find out we're pregnant, we're encouraged to keep it quiet. Discouraged from sharing the news until we're past 12 weeks and the risk for miscarriage goes down. We're told that although it's something that can affect so many women and families, it's normal and we shouldn't dwell. We have little support from the … [Read more...]

What I Want You to Know

Miscarriage: What I want you to know

It did not happen because of something I did. It was not God's will. It doesn't make me feel any better when you speculate on why it happened. I hate the term "try again". It's okay for me to cry. It's not better or worse that my pregnancy wasn't further along. I don't want to be told it was for the best. I want to define it in my … [Read more...]

It Was More Than “Just” a Miscarriage

It Was More Than 'Just A Miscarraige'

Truthfully, perinatal grief due to miscarriage can be hard to comprehend for someone who has never experienced it. Part of me has this unrealistic expectation that people should "get it", that they should understand the emotional and physical toll a miscarriage has on a woman, on a family.  People should get it, but every so often I am taken to task … [Read more...]