• Control (Or Lack Thereof)

    July 11, 2018

    There are a lot of things in my life I feel like I cannot control. Some are my struggle with weight-loss, my children’s behavior, and certainly not the fact that my twins died just a day after they were born. When I was a young girl, my room was SO messy. Disgusting, actually. It drove…

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  • maintaining faith after loss

    Maintaining The Faith After Loss

    July 2, 2018

    Over the last couple of months, two friends have had miscarriages. Two friends were expecting to welcome their sweet babies in the fall only to be left with broken hearts and empty wombs. I continue to try and make sense of things that have no explanation, no reason. Even if there was a reason, would…

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  • Getting Anxiety In Check

    June 24, 2018

    I recently sat in my boss’s office for my annual evaluation. I teach 4th grade, and my principal had some data pulled up on the screen in front of us. “So,” she started. “What do you think has been the biggest change this year? Something you’re proud of?” I hesitated, of course, but, luckily, I…

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  • Screenshot on Twitter in response to bullying.

    Bullied for Being Bereaved

    June 7, 2018

    Twitter is a cesspool. Believe it or not, that’s one of the first things that comes up when you search Google for information about the popular social media site. So maybe I shouldn’t be surprised when I got bullied there for being a bereaved mom. But despite everything, I still like to think of the…

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  • It Is Okay For Your Grief To Be Messy

    May 31, 2018

    I have been writing for Still Standing for close to a year now. Every month when I sit down to begin an article I always try to think of one element of grief and hone in on that. Almost as if I must compartmentalize all of my feelings and then pick which box to open…

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  • Rage Running

    April 11, 2018

    Seething with rage, I laced up my shoes into double knots. Earlier in the day, I had been part of a conversation involving teen pregnancy. This particular teen was not yet pregnant but seemed very flippant about becoming so. In the middle of the hot mess that was her life, she didn’t care if she…

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  • Angel

    I Don’t Believe My Daughter Is An Angel

    April 7, 2018

     It was such a shock when our daughter died; just 24 hours before we’d had hopes, for the future. Our premature princess was coming home. But then she didn’t. We had to sit confused; listening to how they were going to switch off her ventilator; to make sure she had last minute cuddles, to prepare…

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