Pregnancy is supposed to be filled with joy, wonder, excitement, and love. Nothing changes that like the death of a child. Nothing. My first child died before he took a breath outside my body. He was born at 24 weeks gestation in June of 2013. We knew we wanted to try again soon. Not to replace him, because nothing could ever replace him. We wanted to start our family. Since our first child was now dead, we decided to try again. I was terrified but held onto hope that Parker would ... Read More about The Longest 40 Weeks: Surviving Pregnancy After Loss
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5 Sweet Ways To Support A Friend’s Pregnancy After Loss
When I became pregnant one year after the loss of my daughter, a part of me wanted to announce our pregnancy right away, to share this wonderful news with the world. But another part of me didn’t want to risk it, to feel any more vulnerability in this life after loss. Just as I was anxious about people’s reactions when they learned of my daughter’s death, I was apprehensive about how others would respond to the new life growing inside of me. The pregnant mama after loss is experiencing a ... Read More about 5 Sweet Ways To Support A Friend’s Pregnancy After Loss
Pregnancy After Loss: A Place of In-Between
As I write this I am twenty weeks into my pregnancy after loss. My first pregnancy ended at eleven weeks. I just found out I am having a baby girl and I can feel her kicking and tumbling around often. With each passing day I have new hopes and fears. This pregnancy seems too good to be true. After the darkness of miscarriage, it is hard to believe that life can be, and is, happy again. Navigating these past five months has been difficult. While I have had quite an easy pregnancy physically, it ... Read More about Pregnancy After Loss: A Place of In-Between
Pregnancy After Loss
I held my breath as the ultrasound technician moved her gooped-up wand over my belly. My sweaty hands firmly gripped the crinkly paper beneath my body. With barely a hint that I was pregnant again--for the fourth time--the only indication that anything was actually growing inside me would soon appear on the grainy black and white image. Panic, as thick as a dense storm cloud, filled my heart, my gut, and my soul. I had been here three times before. It never ended well. “You are either ... Read More about Pregnancy After Loss
6 Things You Do Differently In Pregnancy After Loss
Pregnancy comes with a lot of expectations. From home pregnancy tests to routine prenatal care to baby showers, expecting moms often breeze through these milestones with ease. Sure there are the heartburn complaints and the swollen feet to deal with. But most pregnant women hope their pregnancy to be healthy. And you know what? It usually is. But sometimes things go tragically wrong. And when it happens to us, we must either make the heart-rending decision to try again or to let go, which ... Read More about 6 Things You Do Differently In Pregnancy After Loss
Underlying Fear in Pregnancy after Loss
Today is my due date with our third child. We lost our first child at 19 days old, and then went on to have a beautiful rainbow baby who is now three. As I write this at 39 weeks pregnant, I have no idea what today will bring, whether or not this baby will be born yet, and what fate the birth will bring. I have worked hard to make this pregnancy a celebration of life and hope instead of a prisoner of fear and anxiety. The pregnancy itself has been bumpy, and hope has not always been easy to ... Read More about Underlying Fear in Pregnancy after Loss
Pregnancy After Loss: Facing The Fear… Again
Guest post by Melissa We lost our son Aiden in 2010 at 19 days old, after a normal pregnancy and delivery. Fourteen months later, we welcomed a beautiful, healthy baby girl, Emily. My pregnancy after loss with Emily was terrifying and stressful, something that I was not looking forward to facing again anytime soon. But after much discussion, my husband and I have decided to try for another child. Some of the most difficult parts of my grief journey have been the unexpected moments of grief ... Read More about Pregnancy After Loss: Facing The Fear… Again