To my three, According to statistics, one out of every four pregnant women endures miscarriage. Like an anthem call, many of us who have endured pregnancy and infant loss refer to ourselves as “I am 1 in 4” in our memes, graphics, and posts, particularly in the month of October. Somewhere, in the magical, invisible world of statistics, I am grouped with three other women. Like schoolgirls after counting ourselves into groups by fours, here we are, the four of us, huddled together at the ... Read More about If I Am “One In Four” – Where Are The Other Three?
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Imagine, if you will, that your 13-year-old son is killed in a hit-and-run. Or that your daughter is violently assaulted and dies as a result of her injuries. It's a tough request, I know. But please bear with me. Let's take it one step further. Following the homicide, you become aware that sickening lies about your child are circulating in the media and internet -- your son was a drug-addicted bully, your daughter a prostitute. You'd be distraught, right? And you'd want a retraction? To ... Read More about Lies, Defamation, and Online Abuse — Can We Protect The Memory Of Our Dead Children?
For all of those dealing (or who have dealt with) infertility, pregnancy loss, and/or baby loss, I present for your consideration, a truly terrible grouping of some of the nonsense we go through in daily life: 1) Bellies. Round with child, bumping into you on the train, sitting on laps at the doctor’s office, or staring at you from opposite the table at a coffee date. 2) To go along with #1, BABIES. Seriously, are we in another baby-boom? Because they are EVERYWHERE. 3) Gaining 10 lbs, ... Read More about 30+ Ways Life Sucks After Infertility and Loss
I live in Wisconsin-the state known for milk, brats, and, of course, beer. We are the home of Miller Lite, folks. You can buy an alcoholic beverage practically anywhere. Heck, we throw out bloody-mary mixes at parades and have festivals devoted to wine and beer. I guess you could say that we have a distinct “drinking culture” here. You can rent a school bus to take you and your guests bar-hopping, you can get on a trolley to take you to taste different wines all day long, and you can even ... Read More about Know Yourself
First thing you need to know about me: I'm a nerd and I love BBC's "Doctor Who." If you don't know what "Doctor Who" is, I'll get to that in a moment. Second thing you need to know about me: I lost my son Emmett. It's been a difficult 18 months trying to navigate this new, scary and overwhelming world after loss. I've found solace in many things - making new friends in the pregnancy and infant loss community, blogging, baking, swimming, and, yes, binge-watching TV shows to occupy my mind ... Read More about Lessons I Learned About Grief and Loss from Doctor Who
To eat or to exercise my grief, that is the question. At least, that has been my question for the past year and a bit. At first, I ate it. Totally ate it. As in, ate every little bit of grief that I had, for two. And then I had this positive change of mindset, and randomly decided to hike 40kms (29 miles) and just exercise the grief right out of me. And then 40kms was a whole lot further than I thought it was, and I went back to work, and the dog decided to lie down (literally) every time we ... Read More about To eat or to exercise my grief?
It had been a few weeks since our loss when someone asked me if I was sleeping okay. Naively, I answered yes. If I'm honest, answering yes felt completely inaccurate stumbling out of my mouth but I couldn't figure out why initially. Maybe a part of me wanted it to look like I was handling this "so well", and maybe another part of me actually believed that to be true. Now, seven years later I am positive that wanting to handle grief at all is a misguided aspiration. Surviving it should be at the ... Read More about 5 Ways to Find Rest in Spite of Grief