• One Can Dream

    June 11, 2018

    This is an entry from my journal. I’m sharing this because I know there are so many people out there who don’t get it. And there are so many people out there who do. Oct 10, 2017 So, while standing at the checkout, a cute little boy at the grocery store showed me his stuffed…

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  • Crying mother statue

    It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way

    May 22, 2018

    On the hard days, when I’m fiercely missing my babies in heaven or, more recently, longing for the new baby we dream of welcoming into our lives through adoption, all I can think is, ‘It’s not supposed to be this way.” The deep soul-jerking emotions come on so suddenly and intensely that I’ve begun to…

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  • Orange poppy flower

    Senses and Memories: When Spring Triggers A Wave Of Grief

    May 8, 2018

    Grief is complicated.  Even more complicated when your triggers are as subtle as the feeling of Spring emerging after a long Winter.  My first Spring after the loss of my son, I was hit with a wave of grief.  At first, I noticed a strange feeling as I sat alone in my office.  Not really…

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  • Why Did I Say It Was Okay?

    March 22, 2018

    I know you know the conversation. It could be with a stranger or someone you have known for years. The subject of kids comes up. They ask if you are a mom or how many kids you have. They ask how you are doing, how you are feeling, how you are coping. You share your truth.…

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  • It's never easy to give an answer when asked, "How many children do you have?"

    The Hardest Question To Answer

    March 19, 2018

    There is no sentence in existence that throws me more than the question, “How many children do you have?” I’ve been asked this question—or some derivative of it—in essentially every setting in my life: at the grocery store, at board meetings, at any and every social function, at the maternity clothing store (haven’t they thought…

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  • Facing The Triggers

    March 8, 2018

    Yesterday was a day of triggers I did not see coming, and it was like a cruel punch to the gut. The kind that winds you, leaving you crawling on the ground and gasping for air. You know the ones…the triggers that hurt so bad there are no cries or words that sum it up.…

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  • Bereaved Moms Book Club

    March 2, 2018

    The death of a child changes everything. You never know when you’re going to walk on a landmine, setting off grief and leaving you sobbing. Even books, television, and movies are forever changed. I’ve wondered if I should start the “Bereaved Moms Book Club” just so everyone knows what to avoid—or at least knows to…

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