Recently, my husband and I welcomed our “rainbow” twin daughters into the world. (I am hesitant to use the term rainbow baby because I used it with my son, who we lost.) Pregnancy after loss was one of the most challenging moments of my life. It was difficult to get through each day knowing all…
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If I Am “One In Four” – Where Are The Other Three?
Continue...To my three, According to statistics, one out of every four pregnant women endures miscarriage. Like an anthem call, many of us who have endured pregnancy and infant loss refer to ourselves as “I am 1 in 4” in our memes, graphics, and posts, particularly in the month of October. Somewhere, in the magical, invisible…
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Scars: Call Me A Work In Progress
Continue...Infertility and infant loss have left me with deep emotional scars. The scars that I carry from my struggle with infertility never went away. Even when I was pregnant with Asher, my reaction to other people’s pregnancy announcements remained the same. I felt like some people didn’t struggle enough to get pregnant and that fact…
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How Many Kids Do You Have?
Continue...“How many kids do you have?” It’s such a common and generally harmless question. But to the mother who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss, the answer may not be as easy to get out. What’s the answer? I mean if you’ve lost, what do you say? I’m not sure if its related to all…
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Hope Takes Hold: A Letter To My Rainbow Baby
Continue...To my littlest daughter, As I compose this letter to you, you are kicking wildly within my womb. You have been a very active baby throughout this pregnancy after loss, a fact for which I am grateful. Each movement I feel is a reminder that you are still with us, still safe and sound, and…
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I Am With You
Continue...The summer before our second child was born, I taught extended school year at an elementary school for special education students. All my students that summer had severe cognitive, physical, or emotional difficulties (sometimes the trifecta), necessitating extra instruction and supports. I had a lot of worries throughout my second pregnancy about the health and…
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The Emotional Tug-Of-War Of Pregnancy After Loss
Continue...Pregnancy after loss isn’t easy. It’s a complex myriad of emotions and contradictions. Each day is an intense game of tug-of-war surging beneath the surface. There are two sides to every feeling, creating a multifaceted dimension of the mind. Excitement is accompanied by fear, hope aligns with despair, unbridled happiness teams up with guilt. Balancing…
