• Time isn't a healer

    Why Time Isn’t A Healer

    April 19, 2018

    “Time is a healer, you will be okay.” This was a common phrase when our daughter first died. Time was going to make everything okay, everything better. I waited and watched. Having spent a little over five weeks, waiting and clock watching it only seemed that this was what I was meant to be doing…

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  • Some Reflections on Grief and Control

    April 9, 2018

    Grief has many faces. Perhaps there are tears or anger or breakdowns. But grief is intensely personal. I am the face of grief that is considered stoic and strong. After the intensity of the new pain, I grew a steely resolve that does not often succumb to public weeping. My vulnerability is saved for those…

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  • One Year Without Your Child, And A Lifetime To Go

    March 25, 2018

    ”What a difference a year makes.” This well-known phrase haunts me every day since our son passed away unexpectedly. My son Turner’s first birthday is March 25th, 2018. One whole year has nearly passed since he quietly entered the world and was placed in my arms. One whole year since I had to say hello…

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  • When Grief Takes Work And Time

    February 11, 2018

    The old adage is that “Time heals wounds,” as if time itself holds some sort of healing powers. Any woman in grief would tell you it doesn’t. Time may cause the experience of grief to ebb and flow, but it does not in and of itself heal the wounds that have come out of the…

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  • A New Year Without My Baby

    January 28, 2018

    Dear 2018, You arrived silently at my home at the stroke of midnight.  I knew you were coming, a new year without my baby. I have been aware of it since March 12, 2013.  I’ve dreaded you since that day and the realization of all that time would hold within your 365 days.  Like a…

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  • The Pain of Easing Grief - Letters to Jonah

    The Pain of Easing Grief

    January 17, 2018

    I remember the first couple of weeks and months after saying goodbye to my precious Jonah at 30 weeks gestation due to a heart condition as extremely difficult and filled with so many ups and downs, I felt like a marionette doll living someone else’s life, because there’s no way that much sadness could be…

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  • Remembrance: If I don't remember them, who will?

    If I Don’t Remember Them, who Will?

    January 10, 2018

    “Who knows. Maybe everybody’s end isn’t the day they actually die, but the last time anyone speaks of them. Maybe when you die you don’t really disappear, but you fade into a shadow, dark and featureless, only your outlines visible.” ― Ali Benjamin, The Thing About Jellyfish In April, my twins, Sophie and Aiden, will…

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