Before Melody died, there was never a lot of thought of just how such a tiny person could change every part of our lives. Her death shook us to the very core. We were left confused; blinded by her loss. We couldn’t concentrate or focus on a lot other than surviving each day; trying to…
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I Can Love My Baby, Grieve My Loss, And Still Have Had An Abortion
Continue...They say, we are perfectionist uptight women who are unable to tolerate the thought of a child with special needs. They say, we took the easy way out, to avoid dealing with a medically complex child. They say, we are cold, uncaring women, throwing away our child the minute there is a problem. They say,…
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Mom Guilt – For The Bereaved
Continue...Insert yourself into any group of modern mothers and you are likely to hear discussions of “mom guilt”. The sources of this guilt abound – screen time, food choices, discipline, not enough activities, too many activities! I find myself nodding along during these conversations, as I am no exception. I am also a slave to…
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We Can’t Take A Family Photo
Continue...Recently, we welcomed our fourth child into the world, a beautiful baby girl named Gemma Rose. It was time to consider family photographs. Except, we didn’t. We couldn’t. Since my son died at the age of five months, I have been unable and unwilling to consider a professional family portrait. Daily, on social media, I…
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Strength Isn’t Always As Strong As It Appears
Continue...What if strength is just an illusion? Strength is often talked about when discussing the grieving. When someone has experienced a significant loss, onlookers or people lining the sidelines often say things about the person’s strength with admiration. What if this perceived strength comes at a cost? What if that person you are admiring for…
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Grief Defined Me… Until It Didn’t
Continue...Two years ago, when the loss of my baby girl at twenty weeks gestation was still fresh, grief defined me. I had other identities of course. I was a wife, a writer, and a mother to two living daughters. But at that time, my identity as a grieving mother was so strong that it seemed to…
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Grief Shows Up
Continue...Grief showed up today. I had been anticipating its appearance in my Facebook memories from four years ago. The last baby bump photo that I had posted on Facebook. You know the one. The one with the glowing mom standing sideways, showing off her round bump in a tight-fitting shirt. I’m smiling next to a…
