There really is no right or wrong way to honor your child. Do what feels right or is best for you and your family. There is also no timeframe, and some years you may do more than others, or nothing at all but remember. That is ok. This is your journey in a unique parenthood.…
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With You When You Awaken; Still There When The Darkness Descends
Continue...Fighting against the reality of child loss won’t lead us to the place through which we must travel: the honest, intimate, soul-crushing acceptance that we’re grieving because our child is dead. That’s what we’re being asked to do in facing this indecent truth. We’re being asked to take the hand of this most unwanted, terrifying…
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10 Reasons That Make Pregnancy and Baby Loss a Unique Grief
Continue...Pregnancy and baby loss is a unique grief, unlike any other. Here are ten reasons why. 1. It’s out of order. None of us like to think about the losses that surely await us in our future: we’ll lose grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, family friends, teachers, and mentors. And while these losses are excruciating, we…
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Things Not To Say To A Bereaved Parent
Continue...There are a million things not to say to a bereaved parent, but some things said, particularly when comparing loss, are just not things a bereaved parent wants to hear. Things like… 1. “I’ve had a miscarriage too.” I know how painful a miscarriage can be; sadly I have been through them too. But please…
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It Is Okay For Your Grief To Be Messy
Continue...I have been writing for Still Standing for close to a year now. Every month when I sit down to begin an article I always try to think of one element of grief and hone in on that. Almost as if I must compartmentalize all of my feelings and then pick which box to open…
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I Did Not Know The Gender Of My Fatally Diagnosed Baby
Continue...The words fell heavy in my ears and even heavier on my heart. I had heard them before. The only thing worse than hearing them once was hearing them again. “Your baby has lethal abnormalities. There is nothing we can do …” Before we left this appointment where we learned that our fourth baby would…
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Five Things I’ve Learned In Five Years Of Grief
Continue...Last month, my little girl would have turned five. I’ve lived 60 months without her, 261 weeks and 1825 days. The journey from our goodbye to today has been along a treacherous path. I have stumbled often, I have become lost in the dark, but I have also seen more light and witnessed more beauty…
