• To Those Whose First Baby Was Stillborn

    May 16, 2018

    Whatever your story of loss is, the pain is incredibly intense and feels insurmountable. For this article, though, I want to talk specifically to those whose first baby was stillborn, because that’s my experience and that’s what I know. Being pregnant for the first time (or making it past earlier miscarriage dates for the first…

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  • Looking over a view of the mountains

    You’re Allowed To Be Done

    May 14, 2018

    I’m going to tell you something that you might not hear, and may not want to: you are ALLOWED to stop. Stop the treatments; stop charting, stop monitoring every single sign and symptom of either pregnancy, ovulation, or your coming period. You can quit reading long into the night, searching for a way to either…

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  • Seraching for Meaning In Loss happens in grief

    Searching For Meaning In Loss

    May 10, 2018

    The day that irrevocably changed my life began simply with hope. My baby girl appeared to be improving in so many tiny yet remarkable ways until she unexpectedly took her last breath. At that moment, darkness wrapped itself around me and enveloped my very existence. My worldview was irrevocably altered, and I discovered that the…

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  • No Comparisons: A Goal for Mother’s Day 2018

    May 9, 2018

    Mother’s Day is right around the corner. Some think it’s a commercial scam to sell cards and flowers. Maybe. But motherhood is hard, y’all. Take a minute to applaud yourself. Accept the flowers with gratitude. Buy that special cup of coffee.  Go to bed an hour earlier than usual. Say no to stuff you don’t really want…

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  • Knowledge Is Power

    May 9, 2018

    I’m guessing you’ve heard it before: No two people grieve the same way. We could go through almost the exact same circumstances and still feel differently. This is because we are so complex; we are made of so much more than just our current circumstances. Shortly after my twins died, in the midst of my…

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  • Raw Grief

    May 6, 2018

    Raw grief is like labor. The intensity of the pain fades with time. Probably because if it didn’t, we could never survive it. We remember when loss visits us anew, ripping everything to pieces as its first wave overtakes us. It is hard to breathe. Everything hurts. Nothing matters, except the consuming missing. And the…

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  • Beauty In The Broken

    May 4, 2018

    In the first few years after Zoey died, I fought the idea that I was broken.  Everyone continually told me how strong I was, and I tried to prove that they were correct.  I functioned. I went to work. I found ways to cope.  In the last year, though, I’m learning that I can be…

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