• Asking God why my child died

    Why Her, God? Why Not Me?

    May 25, 2018

    The question that runs through every grieving parent’s mind is ‘Why?’ Why in the earthly, physical sense. Why in the spiritual, religious sense. It’s true that I’ll never get over my daughter, Abi, dying aged 12. I’ll carry the loss of her with me until it’s my turn. And that’s OK, because to try to…

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  • Sitting With The Unknown

    May 20, 2018

    We were sitting in the office of the rabbi, who had so lovingly cared for us during our son’s short life and in the days after it ended. Tear soaked and desperately forlorn, my husband and I asked questions, both attempting to process how we would be able to live after losing our shared trajectory…

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  • Seraching for Meaning In Loss happens in grief

    Searching For Meaning In Loss

    May 10, 2018

    The day that irrevocably changed my life began simply with hope. My baby girl appeared to be improving in so many tiny yet remarkable ways until she unexpectedly took her last breath. At that moment, darkness wrapped itself around me and enveloped my very existence. My worldview was irrevocably altered, and I discovered that the…

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  • How Being A Bereaved Mum Changed The Way I See Easter

    March 28, 2018

    I always loved Easter. It was a big deal when I was younger — I grew up as a Christian, in a Christian family, so the emphasis was always on Jesus. We went to church twice every Easter, solemnly marking Jesus’ death on Good Friday and joyously celebrating his resurrection on Easter Sunday. There was…

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  • Healing After Loss Without A God

    March 25, 2018

    I was raised very Catholic but fell away from the church at sixteen. I came back when I was nineteen but really struggled with the beliefs I had been taught and the life I was living. At twenty-one, I began looking at other religions and practices and fell in love with Buddhism. From then on…

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  • No Altar At Which To Lay My Aching Soul

    March 17, 2018

    Over the Easter weekend, we as a family celebrate in our own secular, non-churchgoing way — an early morning chocolate egg hunt followed by a big breakfast featuring a bunny-shaped bread and Easter egg tree. Our family has passed this Swiss tradition down from one generation to the next. It’s without a doubt my favourite…

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  • Coping The Days After A Stillbirth Is Never Easy, But It Is Possible

    March 9, 2018

    Coping with losing your child is never easy.  I cannot give you a simple list of “how-tos” or tell you how to cope best.  I can simply share what helped me cope, and how I survived.   The days following the stillbirth of my son, Mateo, were eerily similar to days from my past, following…

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