Over the years, I’ve learned to ignore anything that comes after the words “at least” as it relates to the loss of my son. Statements that start with “at least” are not comforting or helpful to parents grieving a child and here is why: It completely invalidates their loss, their child and their suffering. At least…
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How To Avoid Burnout When Supporting Grieving Friends
Continue...When your child dies, you immediately become part of what is unofficially known as “the grief club.” This is a global connection of people whose lives have been impacted by the loss of a loved one. As a bereaved parent, the “childloss community” is sadly vast. There are smaller groups of us supporting the bereaved…
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Yes, You Could Survive It
Continue...Before I had children, my cousin lost his third child to anencephaly, a condition in which the forebrain does not develop. Erin lived for four hours before succumbing in the arms of her parents. I remember when my mother called and told me about the diagnosis. I was stunned and grieving for my cousin and…
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Friendships in Grief: Part 2
Continue...October is coming. The children dress up as goblins and ghosts and they tell you to give them what they want or they will play a trick at your expense. Early in my grief, the feeling wasn’t so different. I watched as friends saw me coming, friends with swelling bellies, turn on their heels and…
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Not You Too, My Friend?
Continue...I’ve discovered that yet another friend of mine has experienced what no parent should ever have to – the loss of their precious little baby. It doesn’t matter what age, gestation, whether there was a medical reason, or how long ago it was. It’s a cruel tragedy that no parent recovers from. It doesn’t matter…
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- Community
- Dealing With Others in Grief
- Doing Good
- Supporting a Friend After Loss
- Supporting a Friend Through Loss
Be Who You Needed
Continue...I don’t always know the right thing to say. Sometimes, I say something so idiotic that for the next week I replay it in my mind, and wish I would have been swallowed by a sinkhole before I could say that dumb thing. Sometimes, in my attempt to be funny, I say something horrible or…
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I Beg You: Please, Don’t Grief Shame Me
Continue...We learn early on in life to keep our emotions in check. Never let them see you sweat, so to speak. There’s an element of judgment for those who appear to lose control of their feelings in public. We apologize for our tears, tiptoe tenderly around the subjects that may make another uncomfortable. There’s an…
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