My motherhood doesn’t look like your motherhood. You see me out at the store and you might think I’m a mother just like any other. But I’m not. Yes, I have my 8-month-old daughter in my arms. Yes, she makes every mundane daily task simultaneously harder to accomplish AND more joyful. Yes, I struggle with…
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Pregnancy After Loss is Complicated
Continue...After my daughter died, I quickly became pregnant with my son. I had so much love in my broken heart with no place to put it, having another baby seemed the only solution. I knew another baby wouldn’t replace her, but I desperately ached for a baby to love in my arms. Considering a pregnancy…
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Wishes That Can’t Come True
Continue...My husband and I knew from the beginning that if we had more kids, we would tell them about their older brother, the brother they never got to meet. The loss of our first born is complicated so we would discuss our loss on a level that they would understand and each and every year…
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The Unknown: How Far Along Are You?
Continue...When pregnant you often get the question ‘how far along are you?’ The answer is rather straightforward. Generally, you can form a good estimate for a gestation period of around 40 weeks. For adoption, it can be more complicated. When adopting, you also often get the same question – how far along are you? It’s often referring…
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Teaching My Rainbow about Menstruation
Continue...“Let me tell you ’bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees…” …and, pregnancy and infant loss, and, a struggle to conceive. Spring, a time known for celebrating fertility, vibrancy and life, stretches its wings at the most critical time of the entire year, for suicide. Sprays of brightly colored eggs,…
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Five Things I Tell My Child As I Walk Her Through Grief
Continue...Over the last decade of infertility, I have received many “words of encouragement” that don’t actually encourage. Well-intending people, unfortunately, fall short because they just don’t know what to say and it backfires. After experiencing this for so long, you learn what is helpful to say, and what isn’t. After our miscarriage in August 2017,…
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She Existed.
Continue...Many people, even friends or family can be confused as to how hard parents who have experienced infant loss grieve. They may not understand how someone can miss a child who was with them for such a short period of time. How they can grieve so hard for someone they barely knew. When you become…
