To my littlest daughter, As I compose this letter to you, you are kicking wildly within my womb. You have been a very active baby throughout this pregnancy after loss, a fact for which I am grateful. Each movement I feel is a reminder that you are still with us, still safe and sound, and…
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This Person I’ve Become
Continue...I am not the person I once was. Child loss leaves no relationship untouched, no personal belief unquestioned. I can no longer look at the world with unwavering optimism or subscribe to mantras that oversimplify the human experience. “Everything happens for a reason.” After witnessing my own child die in my arms, I cannot possibly…
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Two Years Later: My Second Year Of Grief
Continue...Two years have passed since I last saw my daughter alive. Two years since that fateful morning in June, when a compassionate doctor helped us understand that it was time to let her go. Two years since I held her for the first and last time. Two years since I watched her velvety skin darken.…
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The Truth About Parenting After Loss
Continue...Every day, my heart bursts with gratitude for my firstborn’s life. Nearly four years after her birth, I am still in awe that together my husband and I created this little force with an affinity for dinosaurs and dance class. She fills me with love and pride, and I am so thankful for the beauty…
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The Greatest Display Of Empathy
Continue...When a loss is fresh, the bereaved are often lifted up by those around them, perhaps provided with meals, showered with cards and flowers, or sent messages of love and support. These kind gestures can be very helpful and feel endearing after a loss. When your world has been toppled, when you suddenly find yourself…
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Let The Light In
Continue...Bleak. Exhausting. Raw. There will be plenty of days like this. You know the ones. The days when no matter how hard you try, you cannot manage to see past the pain, when the weight of it all feels far beyond what you can bear. The days when the future seems nothing short of daunting,…
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Everything Feels Heavy
Continue...In the wake of child loss, everything feels heavy. There is a physical nature to grief that is inconceivable to those who have not lived it. The ache in my heart is real; it feels like a weight in my chest. I have never been so aware of my soul; that is the only explanation…