Just over three months ago, my husband and I welcomed our third daughter, our rainbow baby. While awaiting her birth, I was thrilled about the color she would certainly restore to our world, but I was not naive. I had experienced sufficient life after loss to understand that the birth of my rainbow would neither…
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Mom Guilt – For The Bereaved
Continue...Insert yourself into any group of modern mothers and you are likely to hear discussions of “mom guilt”. The sources of this guilt abound – screen time, food choices, discipline, not enough activities, too many activities! I find myself nodding along during these conversations, as I am no exception. I am also a slave to…
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Journeying Through Grief Without A Final Destination
Continue...I have been traveling through my grief journey for over two years now. When my infant daughter died in my arms on that fateful June morning, all the hopes and dreams I had for her future shattered like glass beneath my feet. While I had no idea what life would look like in the aftermath…
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Hope Takes Hold: A Letter To My Rainbow Baby
Continue...To my littlest daughter, As I compose this letter to you, you are kicking wildly within my womb. You have been a very active baby throughout this pregnancy after loss, a fact for which I am grateful. Each movement I feel is a reminder that you are still with us, still safe and sound, and…
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This Person I’ve Become
Continue...I am not the person I once was. Child loss leaves no relationship untouched, no personal belief unquestioned. I can no longer look at the world with unwavering optimism or subscribe to mantras that oversimplify the human experience. “Everything happens for a reason.” After witnessing my own child die in my arms, I cannot possibly…
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Two Years Later: My Second Year Of Grief
Continue...Two years have passed since I last saw my daughter alive. Two years since that fateful morning in June, when a compassionate doctor helped us understand that it was time to let her go. Two years since I held her for the first and last time. Two years since I watched her velvety skin darken.…
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The Truth About Parenting After Loss
Continue...Every day, my heart bursts with gratitude for my firstborn’s life. Nearly four years after her birth, I am still in awe that together my husband and I created this little force with an affinity for dinosaurs and dance class. She fills me with love and pride, and I am so thankful for the beauty…