• Am I Dead Inside?

    November 11, 2017

    Am I dead inside? Do I have any emotions left? Has the loss of my son made me emotionless? Recently (October 2017) my dear father-in-law passed away. We were lucky enough to go see him the weekend before he passed. I’ve known this man for 17 years. Upon our first meeting, there was no hand-shake…

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  • Fear of Forgetting

    November 10, 2017

    Each year that passes, I fear. Each year that gets me further away from when my son was born, I fear. Each year that gets me further away from when my son died, I fear. Each year scares me. Each year I fear I will forget my son. Each year I fear forgetting: A detail…

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  • I Thought About Hurting Myself

    October 6, 2017

    In the beginning of my loss, I was so overcome with my sorrow and my grief, I truly felt I was drowning, that I thought about hurting myself. I’ve never gone through something so traumatic before, something this devastating – I had no idea what to do with all these emotions I was dealing with.…

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  • The Word Death (or any variation)

    October 3, 2017

    Death is a word that grips your very soul with its long thin fingers. A word that literally squeezes every breath out of you, till you feel as if you are going to faint. Death is a word that we have all thought about, all dealt with in some aspect. Death is the word we…

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  • The Last Goodbye and the Longest Ride Home

    September 14, 2017

    The day we chose to pull Drake off his ventilator we spent every moment we could with him – had family and friends coming and going. We knew we had made the hardest decision but it was right for him. It was time to say: our goodbyes, our love yous, our miss yous. It was…

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  • Sorrow Is Always There

    September 10, 2017

    The air around me is silent, The calm before the storm. I feel the need to vent, As my life has taken on a new form. Some days the sorrow is so hard to bare, As I feel so many wrongs I have to make right. Am I the only one to care, I can…

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    Secret Society

    August 14, 2017

    One thing I’ve learned on my grief journey… Infant loss is a secret society. Shhhh. You don’t know who is a part of it till you become a member yourself. You will soon find out that some close to you are also members. I can’t even tell you all the stories I heard; family, friends.…

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