• It's Not Just A Dog

    New Facets Of Old Grief: It’s Not Just A Dog

    June 18, 2018

    While many may dismiss the grief that’s associated with losing our pets as lesser than valid because they’re not human, those who have loved pets and depended upon them for comfort during the hardest parts of their lives know there is a unique grief when it’s time to say goodbye to furry family members. It’s…

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  • 'Dear Dr. Sweeney' is a letter to my perinatologist after he's tragically passed away.

    Dear Dr. Sweeney: A Letter To My Perinatologist

    May 20, 2018

    Dear Dr. Sweeney, I don’t even have the words to adequately express the heartache I have right now. You have died, suddenly and far too early, and the man who has loved and cared for every one of my children–living and dead–is gone. You were so broken at Matthew’s funeral. You drove quite a while…

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  • Don't say God is good if you don't mean He is all the time.

    Don’t Tell Me God Is Good

    February 28, 2018

    Well, at least don’t tell me that when it’s attached to something like: You got the job! (God is good!) You closed on the house! (God is good!) That car barely missed you at the intersection! (God is good!) You’re carrying twins! (God is good!) See where I am going with this? Because the reality…

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  • No parent should have to hold the hand of an infant in ICU

    Just Two More Hours…

    November 28, 2017

    The other day, I stood in yet another new church. Since we’ve moved, we’ve been looking for the church we’ll call ‘home.’ Every church I attend has the meter of, “Will they tell me that Matthew’s death was planned?” and/or, “It was God’s will that he died,” as the measure by which I’ll decide where…

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  • Like seaglass getting etched by the sand, so are choices made after grief.

    There’s Always A Choice

    November 19, 2017

    It’s been nearly eight years this month since my first son was born and died. Years later, I still marvel at how I was able to breathe that cold day we put him in the grave. As I left his coffin, I begged him–plead with a dead child I’d never hold—to please ask God to…

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  • What This Feels Like…

    September 28, 2016

    This. It’s horrible. It’s heartbreaking. It has brought me to more tears and to my knees more in the last week than I have been in the last year. Watching, begging and praying. For someone else’s baby to live.   I obviously know what it feels like to do that for my own babies.  To…

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  • No Immunity

    September 21, 2016

    Many days, my heart hurts.  Sometimes it’s just a second or two as I glance at Matthew’s picture…or think about the date (a year ago tomorrow, I was transferring our sweet little Trey).  Other times, it’s a bit longer at the end of the day when I have quiet time to think about things that…

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