While many may dismiss the grief that’s associated with losing our pets as lesser than valid because they’re not human, those who have loved pets and depended upon them for comfort during the hardest parts of their lives know there is a unique grief when it’s time to say goodbye to furry family members. It’s…
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Dear Dr. Sweeney: A Letter To My Perinatologist
Continue...Dear Dr. Sweeney, I don’t even have the words to adequately express the heartache I have right now. You have died, suddenly and far too early, and the man who has loved and cared for every one of my children–living and dead–is gone. You were so broken at Matthew’s funeral. You drove quite a while…
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Don’t Tell Me God Is Good
Continue...Well, at least don’t tell me that when it’s attached to something like: You got the job! (God is good!) You closed on the house! (God is good!) That car barely missed you at the intersection! (God is good!) You’re carrying twins! (God is good!) See where I am going with this? Because the reality…
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Just Two More Hours…
Continue...The other day, I stood in yet another new church. Since we’ve moved, we’ve been looking for the church we’ll call ‘home.’ Every church I attend has the meter of, “Will they tell me that Matthew’s death was planned?” and/or, “It was God’s will that he died,” as the measure by which I’ll decide where…
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There’s Always A Choice
Continue...It’s been nearly eight years this month since my first son was born and died. Years later, I still marvel at how I was able to breathe that cold day we put him in the grave. As I left his coffin, I begged him–plead with a dead child I’d never hold—to please ask God to…
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What This Feels Like…
Continue...This. It’s horrible. It’s heartbreaking. It has brought me to more tears and to my knees more in the last week than I have been in the last year. Watching, begging and praying. For someone else’s baby to live. I obviously know what it feels like to do that for my own babies. To…
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No Immunity
Continue...Many days, my heart hurts. Sometimes it’s just a second or two as I glance at Matthew’s picture…or think about the date (a year ago tomorrow, I was transferring our sweet little Trey). Other times, it’s a bit longer at the end of the day when I have quiet time to think about things that…