• To My Friend Who Had A Miscarriage

    October 27, 2016

    Dear friend, When you told me that you miscarried your precious baby, my heart broke for you. I thought of the pain you would be in, both physically and emotionally, and I wished things were different. We’re both in this “club” now; this horrible club that no one ever wants to join. I feel as…

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  • Three

    January 30, 2016

    You’d be three today my darling Ariella. I see girls your age and I’m always stunned by how old they look. I can’t imagine you that big and that hurts. I was scared that one day I wouldn’t be able to imagine you growing up and that day has come. It hurts so much my baby!…

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  • Wasn’t Meant To Be

    September 10, 2015

     It wasn’t meant to be that hard… Labour and birth. It was meant to be physically hard. Excruciating, even. Not emotionally agonising. But it was. She had already died.   It wasn’t meant to be so difficult. The year after birth. It was meant to be dirty nappies; Sleepless nights comforting a crying child. But…

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  • Shadows

    June 11, 2015

    I noticed her straight away. I saw her watching as I put my son in a high chair and chatted to him while we waited for our drinks. He excitedly pointed out the various things on our table and as I named them, I could see her glancing our way. Watching. Smiling. As she walked…

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  • Moving House

    May 14, 2015

    We moved house this weekend. It doesn’t seem like such a big deal when I type it out like that. It sounds so simple, but I found it to be anything but simple. We moved because we wanted more room for my son as he grows; our unit was fast becoming too small for his…

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  • One Moment at a Time

    March 11, 2015

    When Ariella died, all I felt was grief and shock. I couldn’t think about anything else aside from the disbelief it had happened to me and the overwhelming sadness and heartbreak. But after the initial shock of her death wore off, I remember thinking one thing over and over again: how do bereaved parents do it,…

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  • She Would Have Been Two

    January 29, 2015

    She would have been two today, my sweet Ariella Jade. I have no doubt that she’d be running around, delighted with presents and loving having her daddy home from work. We’d probably take her to the playground across from our house and watch her enjoy the sunshine. But we don’t get to do that. She…

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