• The Fear of Being Alone

    September 27, 2018

    I have a fear of being alone. My daughter Madison will have been gone 3 years on October 17th. I have faced many things in the days and months that have passed since we received the shocking news that she was gone and then delivered her silently into the world. I have learned to laugh…

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  • I Will Never Be The Same

    August 23, 2018

    In the days following the stillbirth of my daughter, I wondered when I would feel like myself again. Would it be a month? A year? I longed for my “before” and the innocence of not having gone through this experience. Running As time went along, that question I asked myself quietly began to be asked…

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  • Woman with her head down in her arm, needing space to process emotions.

    Making Space

    May 24, 2018

    Through overworked and exhausted eyes, I finally see clearly the person I have become. I have been running as fast as I can—running to escape the sadness and the loss. I keep a pace with work and projects that no one should. I don’t say no to things I don’t want to do because inside…

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  • Why Did I Say It Was Okay?

    March 22, 2018

    I know you know the conversation. It could be with a stranger or someone you have known for years. The subject of kids comes up. They ask if you are a mom or how many kids you have. They ask how you are doing, how you are feeling, how you are coping. You share your truth.…

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  • Worth the Weight – Madison’s Closet

    January 15, 2018

    I have always had a fondness for the new year and made a nearly annual resolution to lose weight and get in shape. All with this vision in mind of what my life would “be” and how it would feel to finally get there. And then on October 17, 2015, my daughter Madison was stillborn…

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  • The Change of Seasons

    September 26, 2017

    Fall arrived on Friday and with it the emotions that have been a part of my life for the last two years. This has always been my favorite time of year. Every weekend is filled with college football. The temperatures finally cool down. The leaves start to change. There is pumpkin everything everywhere. This is…

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  • I See You

    July 11, 2017

    Dear Sister, I see you. I know the shock that overcame you when you found out your child was gone. I feel the pain that you felt when you delivered your beautiful baby, and all your hopes and dreams for that precious life were gone. I am heartbroken at what comes next, and the decisions…

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