• Holding Onto Heaven

    December 16, 2014

    “I’ll love you for forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.” Robert Munsch in “Love You Forever” Before Austin was even born, I whispered this to him. Sitting in his nursery to be, hands on my growing belly, I gently rocked back and forth. Months later I…

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  • Child Loss Anniversaries

    November 18, 2014

    The word anniversary seems to often be followed with celebration. Yet, how can you celebrate a nightmare? The night your life forever changed. The night you lost your son. We’re approaching year six. Each year, as the anniversary nears, I’m filled with a mixture of emotions. Sadness and pain in remembering that tragic night. A…

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  • Complaints

    October 21, 2014

    You complain because your kids kept you up all night. I’m up all night because my child is not here anymore. You complain because your child doesn’t listen to you. I call out for my child, wishing they would answer. You complain because kids are so expensive. My last purchase for my child was flowers for…

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  • The Worry Season

    September 15, 2014

    I lost my fourteen-year-old son November of his freshman year. Now, six years later, my baby is a freshman in high school.  And 14. Needless to say it is going to be a worriesome season filled with memories and nightmares, fears and doubts, and oh, so many prayers. It would be different (maybe) if the way we…

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  • Losing Friends After Child Loss

    August 12, 2014

    You lose a lot of friends after child loss. As if you aren’t facing enough from the death of a child, dealing with relationships along the course of grief can be something unexpected and add to your sorrows. There are various reasons, some of which are due to the bereaved parents, but many are not. For…

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  • If You Were Here Today…

    July 16, 2014

    I wrote this letter two years ago when my sweet gone-too-soon son would’ve turned 18 years old. Instead he is forever fourteen. The letter still fits today, although I can’t fathom what it would feel like to have a 20-something college kid. There’s no place card for this. Six birthdays gone doesn’t make it any easier,…

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  • Laughter Through Tears

    June 17, 2014

    Laughter after a traumatic experience is often filled with mixed emotions. Usually the laughter is unexpected, spontaneous, and often, in the midst of it, you catch yourself. The grieving you pauses mid-laugh and feels guilt, uncertainty. To laugh seems so foreign after all the tears you’ve shed. Several years ago, my husband and I were…

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