• joy and pain are forever bound

    When Joy And Pain Are Forever Bound

    November 25, 2018

    When joy and pain are forever bound, the days can be long and hard. The pain is crippling at times. The joy is beautiful and awe-inspiring. Together though, this life of pain and joy can be overwhelming. The holiday season seems to exacerbate the feelings. The twinkling lights, the parties, the music, the candlelight, the…

    Continue...
  • Pride And Joy

    October 28, 2018

    Some might find it odd that I am so proud of my son. Being his mother brings me incredible joy. It is true that he never took a breath on this earth despite the efforts of the NICU staff present at his delivery. Yet, I believe deeply that I know him. The time that we…

    Continue...
  • Fear.

    Fear: A Normal Part Of Grief

    September 23, 2018

    Fear. I can sense it approaching. I feel a knot forming and tightening in my stomach, visions flash through my mind, my heartbeat quickens and for a moment I feel consumed.  Miriam-Webster defines fear as “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.” Five years ago the most unspeakable loss and…

    Continue...
  • A Note To Myself Five Years Ago: 9 Things I’ve Learned

    August 27, 2018

    Five years ago I did not think I would make it through this. Five years ago I struggled more than I ever had in life. Five years ago I could not imagine that I would survive. Five years ago I did not dream I could ever feel joy and happiness again. Here are nine things…

    Continue...
  • First Day of Kindergarten Colored Pencils

    The First Day Of Kindergarten Without You

    August 15, 2018

    Today is the first day of school, your first day of Kindergarten. Today is the day I have dreaded since your Daddy placed your perfect silent little body in my arms five years ago. We have survived all the milestones up until this moment, all of the should-have-been/could-have-been/would-have-been moments. Like a roller coaster inching its…

    Continue...
  • Death, Love And A Tree Stump

    July 31, 2018

    Love is stronger than death. The bond between a parent and child never ends. We grieve, and it hurts like Hell. It feels as if we have died, yet we are still living. Broken and brittle and left never the same.  But, we grieve because we love. And that love, it always carries on. My…

    Continue...
  • We all have a sacred story to share.

    A Moment To Hold, A Sacred Story To Share

    June 29, 2018

    We all have a story to share. Life moves fast and moments happen in the blink of an eye but when we hold them sacred, they become some of the sweetest and most beautiful stories ever told. Our stories are rarely flawless and many do not have fairytale endings; they are full of beauty but…

    Continue...
1 2 3