• Sometimes

    September 19, 2016

    Let me tell you a secret. Sometimes I want to forget that I have a daughter that died. Not because I don’t love her or want her or miss her terribly (I do). But because this road can be flat-out exhausting. Sometimes I want to pretend that our rainbow son is our first child, so…

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  • Pictures of Before

    September 7, 2016

    Today I ran across this photo.  It was taken by my husband in late September 2011.  That’s me on the right, showing off the baby clothes I’d bought for the baby that we’d just found out was a girl.  I had officially crossed the halfway point of the pregnancy, and was so excited to meet…

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  • The Incomprehensible Reality of Rainbow Motherhood

    August 30, 2016

    This is a photo of the current state of my (rather messy) kitchen table. I wonder if the collection of items on it might come across as rather strange to someone who doesn’t know me well. The formula samples, the how-to book on newborns, the envelope of infant-related coupons – these all make sense, because…

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  • Sex and Babyloss

    August 2, 2016

    When my husband and I drove away from the hospital where our daughter, Eve, was stillborn, empty armed and brokenhearted, the future felt like a wide open blank. I didn’t know what to expect – other than to expect to grieve. I knew that not only did I need to grieve, but that I wanted…

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  • The Gift of Grief

    July 27, 2016

    Today has been one of the most beautiful days I’ve had in a long while. The kind of day for which there are not words to describe the sweetness. Three days ago was the eight month mark of my baby’s death. That day hit me hard, and continues to. The tears have flowed freely. Sleep…

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  • Free eBook for Babylost Parents: Remembering Your Child

    July 19, 2016

    There is a huge level of pain and need in the babyloss and infertility community. I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me, but recently it absolutely blew me away. As a contributing writer for Still Standing, I have access to the post topic suggestions that newsletters subscribers submitted when they signed up to be on the…

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  • When Your Baby Has Died and Your Friends are Pregnant

    July 11, 2016

    I was the first in our circle of friends to become pregnant. Soon after my husband and I discovered that we were expecting our first child, three of our friends discovered the same in quick succession. I rejoiced at the idea that our daughter, Eve, would grow up with the children of our friends. And…

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