What do you think might change if governments started to take the issue of stillbirth seriously? Would we see better communication for families and care providers on the risks? What about more research dollars devoted to stillbirth research? If governments knew about the lifelong impact of stillbirth on mothers, fathers, and siblings, would there be…
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Finding A Therapist That Clicks
Continue...The Buddha at Kamakura. Mandatory decor at therapy offices? It took me a couple tries before I was able to find a therapist that clicked. It didn’t occur to me that this would be so hard. They’re professionals! Surely they have the same standards? No, I was completely wrong about that. When someone says that…
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Grieving In Front Of Your Living Children
Continue...Recently, a mother in one of the forums wrote about how she was feeling guilty that her grieving was taking away from her living children. That they were not getting the mother they deserved because she was sad all the time. Plenty of moms, including me, were there to remind her that these feelings are…
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Bullied for Being Bereaved: Part Two
Continue...Last month, I wrote about an example of the bullying that can take place on Twitter when you are mourning the death of your child. I had planned to write about how online bullying can move into ‘real life’, too. But a couple days after my post appeared, a better example came up in my…
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Bullied for Being Bereaved
Continue...Twitter is a cesspool. Believe it or not, that’s one of the first things that comes up when you search Google for information about the popular social media site. So maybe I shouldn’t be surprised when I got bullied there for being a bereaved mom. But despite everything, I still like to think of the…
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Our Mothers and Loss: A Changing Relationship
Continue...I love my mother, and we get along well, but when it comes to my pregnancy losses and struggles with infertility, well… Let’s just say we’re not on the same page. My mother never struggled to get pregnant. She never had a loss. So even if she was grieving the death of her grandsons, she…
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We Don’t Bear The Burden Equally
Continue...In Australia, an initiative titled Close the Gap is meant to draw attention to a disturbing truth: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people do not enjoy the same good health as other Australians. Indigenous women are 1.5 times more likely to have a stillborn child than white women (Ibiebele et al., 2016). Australia isn’t alone…