It’s been almost 3.5 years since we lost our son.
Initially, when he died, we received hundreds of cards and memorial gifts in his memory. So many people reached out. People we hadn’t spoken to in years (like my husband’s ex-girlfriend from high school as an example) because our loss touched them in some way.
I was so very grateful to everyone who reached out. I still am because it was so needed during that initial loss of Asher. We saved every card we received.
Over time, the number of people who remember the hard days or say his name has severely dwindled.
I don’t fault people for that. Their lives have moved forward, as has mine.
Our loss isn’t fresh for them like it is for me every day.
I understand that many can’t relate to this pain, nor would I want them to be able to, so it’s harder to find ways to continue to support us.
However, the lack of acknowledgment from the many makes me so grateful for the acknowledgment from the few.
This year was my 4th Mother’s Day without Asher, my second with children in my arms.
I received one card from someone acknowledging that it is, and always will be, a hard day for me.
Thank you for that.
I randomly get texts from non-loss friends checking in to see how I am doing emotionally with everything.
Thank you for that.
I receive cards with the names of ALL the members of my family listed (even Murphy, my fur baby).
Thank you for that.
I receive texts of cardinals that someone sees and thinks of Asher.
Thank you for that.
I receive direct messages from people who saw an anchor while shopping, and they thought of us.
Thank you for that.
People have run a 5K in his memory, years after our loss.
Thank you for that.
Someone refers to us as a family of 5, instead of 4.
Thank you for that.
People completed Random Acts of Kindness in Asher’s memory.
Thank you for that.
People like and comment on my posts/photos of Asher.
Thank you for that.
People read my blog and don’t shy away from my pain.
Thank you for that.
People say his name.
Thank you for that.
Thank you to everyone who continues to support me in my lifelong grief over the loss of my son.
You all know who you are.
I am so very grateful for all that you have done to support us and remember my child.
Thank you for it all.
Amy Lied is a wife and a mother to her son, Asher, who was inexplicably born still on February 19th, 2017 and twin daughters. Before losing Asher, she suffered a miscarriage and struggled with unexplained infertility. She has documented her journey from the beginning of her infertility struggles on her blog, Doggie Bags Not Diaper Bags. She is also a co-founder of The Lucky Anchor Project , an online resource for loss families that houses an Etsy store whose profits are donated to loss family non-profit organizations. She hopes to help others by sharing her journey as she continues to navigate the bumpy road that is life after loss.
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