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July 30, 2020

The Colours Of My Grief

Niamh Connolly-Coyne

The Colours Of My Grief
       

My grief is purple,

Purple because I am sure she would have loved purple too just like her sisters,

Purple because it is calm yet fierce,

Purple because it is magical as well as pretty,

Purple for the ring that I now wear on my finger in her memory,

Purple for the colour of the dress that I bought for her big sister to wear at her funeral.

My grief is yellow,

Yellow for the daffodils that pop up around Springtime along the motorway, which remind me of her because they bloomed around the time of her passing,

Yellow for Easter time when I was allowed out of hospital for a few hours as I carried her still body alongside her twin sister,

Yellow for the beautiful hot sun that shone on the day of her funeral,

Yellow for the stars that glisten so brightly above our home every night.

My grief is white,

White for the flat line on the scanner that showed us that she no longer had a heartbeat,

White for the coffin that we brought her home in on the backseat of our car,

White for the beautiful crochet blanket that she now lays upon in her coffin,

White for the sea spray that reminds us of her as our other two children play in the sand,

White for the little angel feathers that she now leaves for us to find in her memory.

My grief is pink,

Pink for the rosy pink lips that she had when she was born,

Pink for our beautiful precious girl,

Pink for the matching crochet hats that my friend gifted me for our twin girls to wear together,

Pink for the flowers that we place on her grave,

Pink for the clothes that she forever wears.

Niamh Connolly-Coyne

Niamh Connolly-Coyne is mother to three daughters Alice and twins Emma and Mia. Mia passed away a few weeks before she was born. She had a heart condition called hypoplastic left heart syndrome.

Niamh lives in Ireland. She set up an awareness / advocacy group for bereaved parents who have experienced loss in a multiple pregnancy called Peas in a Pod: loss in a multiple pregnancy @peasinapodireland. Niamh hopes also to create more awareness and inclusion of the needs of parents who have lost a baby from a multiple pregnancy through campaign and lobbying work. 

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Founded in 2012, Still Standing Magazine, LLC, shares stories from around the world of writers surviving the aftermath of loss, infertility - and includes information on how others can help. This is a page for all grieving parents. If you grieve the loss of your child, no matter the circumstances, you are welcome here.
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