“Suffering makes us more like Jesus,” is what they said. The Catholic end game.
Be. Like. Jesus.
Face the challenge you have been given in this life like Jesus did as He climbed Golgotha to His death to fulfill His prophecy.
Climb your own Golgotha.
When you fall, get back up as He did. Comfort your mother while she watches you suffer.
Tell the women who weep around you; you are okay.
Be. Like. Jesus.
Because if you are, you get to go to heaven. Where your son, who was taken from you at five months pregnant, is waiting for you.
Even more of a reason to Be. Like. Jesus.
I find myself lost in the social constructs of religion I grew up in, especially after losing my son.
A girl raised Roman Catholic who went to a private school where I had Jesus drilled into me from kindergarten till eighth grade, who then became a woman who moved to a non-denominational church for a while.
To where I am now.
A grieving mother who is not quite sure what she believes anymore. What I was told after the death of my son is to “Trust God’s plan.”
Humans naturally try to find reasons, and where there is no reason a simple answer for them is “it’s God’s plan.” What people often forget is that we are animals—made up of organic material that can be destroyed.
I don’t think God decided that my son Steven should be called back to heaven. He did not say wrap his umbilical cord around his neck three times to take his life.
He would never wish for me to carry this kind of pain for the rest of my life. I’m one of His children, aren’t I?
No, I’m sorry, God does not have a plan.
What He has is love.
What He gives is love.
The kind that allows me to keep moving.
The first time I laughed after I lost Steven, truly laughed where it was hard to catch my breath, that was God’s love.
The people He sent to help me through this time were God’s love.
When I start crying over losing my son and never feel like I will be able to stop but somehow, I do, is God’s love.
The fact that my husband and I grew closer instead of further apart is God’s love.
Lent used to be about Jesus’s suffering. After losing my son, it has become about God’s promise.
That like Jesus, we will walk up to our own Golgatha and suffer along the way.
But if we focus on God’s love, we will rise as Jesus did, and just like the holes in Jesus’s hands, our scars will show.
That is what it truly means to Be. Like. Jesus.