Everyone else is so excited about the holidays.
Halloween came and went, Thanksgiving is around the corner, then Christmas and the New Year. The countdown has begun, but I can’t participate.
While they count down the days until another wonderful holiday starts, I begin the countdown to her birthday and the start of another year without her.
I can’t get excited about the snow, because snow means shoveling my way through a cemetery.
I can’t get excited about “silent nights” because all my nights have been silent since last December.
I can’t get excited about any of this anymore.
Last year things were so different, she was alive, and I had hope that this year things would be better. I pictured family photos, sibling pictures with Santa, the first steps, and her first birthday.
That all vanished the night she died. My dreams and ideas died too.
I’m quickly approaching a year without her, and my heart knows it. I hope that someday I’ll be able to be excited about these things again, but not this year.
This year it hurts.
This year it’s hard.
If you have a friend or family member missing something this holiday season, remember their children with them.
Remind them you’re here for them.
Reach out to them, because in the depth of this grief, we can’t always find the strength to ask for help.
Acknowledge their pain and love them a little harder.
Whether it’s been a few days, weeks, or even years, we are still hurting, we still need help, and we still need to know you remember.