Time heals all wounds?
Tell that to the gaping hole in my heart that is shaped like my son. Tell that to the pain I feel, emanating from that wound. My wound sure hurts and the pain hasn’t lessened with time.
Give birth to and hold your dead baby and then say that to me again. I bet you wouldn’t be able to.
Everything happens for a reason?
Tell that to my children when they ask what happened to their brother. I don’t doubt that everything happens for a reason because if it didn’t, then that would mean my son died for nothing.
Do me a favor, kiss your baby on their already cold forehead and tell them you are sorry for failing them and then see if you can say that to me.
You are young. You will have another baby.
Will I? Perhaps, but one never knows what God has in store. Sometimes you can’t have another.
How do you think that makes that person feel when you blatantly point out their inability to ever give life again? Struggle with infertility. Lose your uterus because of previous complications and see if you can say that to someone ever again.
He’s in a better place and his suffering is over.
Really? You really think that there is any better place than in his mother’s arms, in our lives and growing into the little boy he should be today?
How about you look at your kids and tell me which one you could give to God. You know, to be in a better place and not suffering. I bet that statement would never again cross your lips.
Oh, something was wrong with him? See? The body has ways of dealing with that. It knew how to fix the problem.
My son was a problem that the body had to get rid of? My body actually told the cord to strangle my child in my womb?
I’ll agree that the human body is a miraculous and marvelous thing but I don’t think it sent my uterus that memo. My child was never a problem.
Tell me something. When your child has problems do you think your body should have taken care of the issue?
Did your child ever take a breath outside of the womb? No? Oh good! That means his soul wasn’t even there yet. Yes, someone actually said this to me.
While I understand that this may have been her belief, it’s not mine. Have some respect for someone’s spiritual beliefs. I personally don’t agree and really would have preferred not to have been told this.
You should be grateful for the kids you do have and focus on them. While I do agree with this statement, I also disagree. My children are ALL my children, whether alive or dead.
My dead son doesn’t cease to exist simply because he wasn’t born alive. He is still my child and I am still his mother and will honor him every year.
Yes, I will celebrate his birth, even if he entered the world silently. He still entered this world by me giving birth to him.
Plan a funeral and cremation for your baby the day after he is born and tell me again how grateful I should be for my living kids.
I can guarantee that not only would you be even more grateful for your living children but you’d still be grateful for the one who passed away. You would be grateful for whatever time you could spend with them.
Walk into a chapel with your dead child’s casket sitting 15 steps in front of you and tell me how grateful you’d be for the lives of your living children because there is nothing in this world you would be more grateful for than the life of your kids. I can guarantee that.
So, go through that and see how utterly stupid that statement is.
It’s been long enough. You should be over this by now. Really? You really said that to me? Unless you’ve been through this, you have no right to say such a thing to me.
The ashes of my dead child, along with my dreams of who he would be are resting in my home. Do you think you could get over it that quickly?
Do me a favor – give birth to your baby and then say goodbye to them on the same day. See how well that sits with you. See if you could “get over” that. Have your child’s life end and see if you could ignore that.
What is wrong with celebrating his existence? Why do we have to forget him? Why are you now ignoring me and hostile when I bring him up. It must make you uncomfortable.
How about you go through it and see just how uncomfortable that is, then add the pressure of getting over your child and not burdening others with such sadness and see how lonely you feel in your loss.
You never get over the loss of your child.