After the rain stopped, and my tears finally dried, the sun came out to warm my face. When I looked up, I noticed a beautiful bright rainbow appearing in the sky. It was at that precise moment I knew that my journey had begun…
As I saw Elianna crawl out from the bathroom, I started shaking. I could not believe my own eyes.
My child, crawling on her hands and knees, saying, “Help me, help me.” Was it a dream?
I yelled loudly to my husband, “Something isn’t right here; something isn’t right!”
Watching my precious daughter struggling was something I was unable to fathom.
My motherly instincts started to kick in, and it was then I called 911.
Elianna passed away on August 11th, 2011 at the tender age of 12. She passed very suddenly and unexpectedly from a brain hemorrhage.
We will always remember Elianna, the young girl with the radiant smile and the most beautiful mane of red hair.
She had a caring heart and inner beauty that sparkled within and radiated on the outside.
So many appealing attributes Elianna portrayed and yet never in a million years would we even have the slightest idea she would leave this earth so very suddenly.
I remember Elianna growing up; her first laugh, losing her first tooth, her first step and the first day she started pre-school.
Two years later she was off to kindergarten.
Elianna was always loved and protected. A little voice inside kept telling me that love is the most important quality you can give a child.
I felt that my job was to be home with her and to be the best nurturing mother I could be.
She was a much loved and respected girl, both in our family and at school.
We miss her so much.
I miss the way she used to laugh; how she used to cuddle up to her favorite dog, Ace.
I miss brushing her thick red hair.
I miss watching her holding her sister’s hand in a comforting way; and how she was a role model to her brother and sister.
I miss kissing her on the cheek when she leaves for school in the morning and her warm hugs.
I miss her smile.
I miss seeing the distinct mark on her front teeth when she laughs, and I miss hearing her sing in the shower.
I also miss her caring attitude she had towards other people.
She loved swimming in the family pool and would stay in there for hours. She would lie on the float and listen to the comforting sound of the water lapping around her, without speaking, her lovely clear eyes closed, and a hint of a smile on her young face.
I often wonder now what was going on inside her young head.
When she was younger, she used to love picking up bugs and creepy-crawlies that nobody would dare touch. She would pick up huge caterpillars and frogs without flinching, and marvel at them, showing the adults around her, what she had found.
She was in harmony with nature and of course, did not think it was squeamish or gross.
She seemed so amused and fascinated, always such a bright and happy girl!
Elianna was the reason I decided to go back to school. I know she was proud of me. She once told me that if I put my mind to it, then anything is possible; an encouraging remark to say coming from a 10-year-old.
She never gave up and succeeded in everything she did because she put her mind to it like just like she was telling me to.
Nobody is invincible, and situations arise when we least expect them to which can turn our lives inside out.
Nothing has ever been the same again, but since her tragic and untimely passing, I have gained many good spiritual thoughts and the unwavering support of immediate family and friends.
Even a hug from a stranger in empathy for my loss has come to mean so much to me.
I lost my girl but gained great comfort, love, and understanding in her place.
Not only has it been a turbulent journey but an enlightened one where I am finding my inner peace and connectedness.
Love will always remain between my daughter and me because love is stronger than death.
We are here to face many tests in our lifetime where emotions and feelings pour out of us like an ongoing waterfall.
Sometimes this waterfall continues, but then after a while, the flow of the water lessons, but it never actually stops.
Sometimes there is a drip here and there of tears that will always flow, but nowadays I can smile despite my tears and carry on with my life and to raise my family as best I can.
Our family has had to adapt to many changes since my daughter’s passing, and the most important of all is knowing that death is just a transition from this world to the next.
Death is just the beginning and that Elianna is alive. We don’t die – only our physical bodies die.
Every time the tree at the school shows its beautiful leaves in the fall, it reminds us of her.
I lost something extraordinarily special the day the angels took her away, but I gained much wisdom and strength since then.
I have learned that life is about balance and we have to face the good with the bad.
Knowing about something is one thing, but experiencing it is another.
We tried to make sense of Elianna’s passing knowing, and that she had to leave for divine reasons.
In time, I accepted her passing, and by doing so, I grew because of experiencing grief first-hand.
We learn from these experiences through spiritual knowledge, and we turn the sadness into smiles and wisdom.
This void Elianna left behind is filled by spiritual thoughts and prayers which comfort me today.
She was loved and cherished. The zest and energy she put into those 12 precious years live on in all those around her.
The maple tree the school dedicated to Elianna bares beautiful red leaves each fall, a reminder to me of her wonderful chestnut-red hair; the tree is also a poignant reminder – as it blossoms and grows – that life goes on.
There may be life-changing situations, but there is never an end to life, it is just a continuous cycle.