April Fools’, a day dedicated to childlike folly. A day to celebrate pulling off little jokes, backed by good intentions.
What happens though, when thoughtlessness leads to real-life heartache? How would you feel knowing your prank had a ripple effect across a large group of men and women who struggle every day with the very subject matter you call a joke?
Here are the three reasons why your April Fools’ pretend pregnancy announcement isn’t funny:
1. You never know what someone is living without.
Picture this: You have just given birth to your baby. Your sweet, too perfect for words baby, only your child has passed away. You were forced to leave the hospital with empty arms and a heavy heart. You return home to a decorated nursery, ready for an arrival that will never come. In an attempt to escape from your pain, you go on Facebook to take a look at what life used to be.
Suddenly, you see this post:
And while you reel through your emotions, trying to figure out how best to respond without seeming bitter or jealous, or too happy so that everyone reading thinks you’re now “over” your loss, you then see the next post:
“LMAO, just kidding, could you imagine?”
And just like that, your heart is crushed. Your heartache, your most profound sorrow as a form of entertainment. Happy April Fools’ day.
2. You never know how badly people want what you are carelessly joking about.
You’ve always dreamt of being a mother, or maybe it’s a new found desire. Either way, you have been actively trying for a little one. You and your spouse have been trying diligently for months. What once was fun has now started to feel like work. Your heart’s desire seems to always be another four weeks away.
You patiently congratulate friend after friend as they are falling pregnant in rapid succession while you wait in limbo. You notice yet another birth announcement. Those two lines that seem so elusive to you have again sprung up on your news feed, only to find out hours later it was all just a hoax.
Whatever it takes for a laugh, right?
Happy April Fools’ Day.
3. You don’t know what someone is living through right now.
You just find out you’re pregnant. The love and joy start to swell within you. You start dreaming of baby names and of the perfect way to tell the ones you love.
Soon, you start envisioning the life that this little one will lead: Will she have my eyes? Will he love watching the game on Sunday’s? Visions of your life suddenly full of love for this new being you have not yet met.
Then the bleeding starts. Fear and panic rise in you as you helplessly beg, plead, pray that all is well and a little bleeding is normal, right? It isn’t alright though; nothing will ever be the same again. You brave the world after losing your child, feeling empty and raw. Your friend, meeting up with you, hugs you and says,
“Guess what? We are expecting!”
While waiting for your response, a sly smile dances across her face, “Just kidding! April Fools’! Why are you so serious?”
A good time, seemingly at your expense, even if the person telling the joke was unaware.
Happy April Fools’ Day.
Don’t be that person this year. Don’t put up with others doing these things either.
Joking about pregnancy is in bad taste. People are suffering through the tragedies that come with making little humans. Consider this, and you will see your jokes are not so lighthearted any more.
This April Fools’ Day, maybe dip an onion on a stick in caramel, saran wrap those toilet seats or tie someone’s shoelaces together instead.
Creating a life is not a joke.
Morgan McLaverty, a world traveler that has taken roots in southern New Jersey where her husband Sean was born and raised. Now, a stay at home mother, she cares for her three living boys; Gavin Cole(5), Rowan Grey(3) and Holden Nash (1). She also is a mother to Lennon Rhys. Lennon was born still at thirty one weeks and five days. His loss spurred on a need in Morgan to write her feelings, share her grief and help others in the process. She hopes her words will help shed the silence and taboo nature of discussing pregnancy and child loss.