I saw your name pop up on my screen – and I knew then that you were calling to tell me you’re pregnant.
I know you called because you knew it would be hard for me to hear the news and I appreciate that you are sensitive to my feelings.
I felt my mouth smile, and my eyes fill with tears when you said the words “I’m due in August.”
I wish my feelings were different.
I am so happy for you, and before I lost Oliver, I would’ve been thrilled to hear the news.
I’m mad at myself for the tears streaming down my face.
I hate myself for feeling this way.
I wish I could find out at the same time you made your announcement official to everyone; I wish I didn’t require this “special” call.
I’m not sure how long it will take until my first reaction to a pregnancy announcement isn’t tears, but I promise I’m so happy for your family.
When your new bundle of joy arrives, I’ll probably admire the photos of her from afar for a few days before I get the courage to come and see you both.
I’ll wait until late in the day to come over so hopefully, I will be the only one visiting.
I’ll embrace your new miracle with tears streaming down my face as I introduce myself as her crazy aunt.
I’ll be amazed at how beautiful and perfect she is and thank God for this beautiful gift.
I’ll be so happy for you, but I’ll still cry.
About the Author: Emily is a mother of three children, two in her home, and one in her heart. Her son Oliver passed away in October of 2017 from HLHS at 9 days old.