On the 9th of February 2017 our son, Harlow was born. I remember my wife screaming, that’s what woke me up.
At the time we both didn’t know she was in labour. After calling emergency 000, I delivered our son on the bathroom floor at 11:45 pm.
I continued CPR only realising it had been 30 minutes when the Ambulance officers arrived. At the time of CPR, I had my son Harlow take a couple of breaths. In those moments I thought, this is it, he’s about to cry.
Heartbreakingly Harlow, our son didn’t make it.
After the ordeal at the hospital and leaving our son there with the nurse to organise our funeral arrangements. I took my wife home the next day. Lost and alone we had no idea what was next.
How do you pick yourself up from this?
It’s been two years last month, and I still find it hard to express my emotions in writing, mainly because I am a man and I was always brought up to be strong and focused and reliable. My wife has really struggled more than me over the past years due to, anxiety, depression, grief, and our loss.
Three of her sisters had babies that same year. Harlow would have been the older cousin. That’s hard, every time we see them, it’s a bittersweet memory of what could have been and what has been lost.
When my wife was pregnant life was good, exciting, expecting – planning and thinking of the future makes you wonder about all the positive possibilities…
and the then worst thing happens.
About the Author: Tom Sorensen
Hold me Close Memory Bunny
Father of my sleeping angel Harlow Thomas Sorensen