Dads grieve too.
The women in our loss community say it often and we say it with such passion.
Dads grieve too.
However, right after we finish that statement the discomfort settles in. A question inevitably arises:
Yes, dads grieve but how do we support them in their grief?
There’s a lot we, as women, can do.
We can listen to their stories and to their silence.
We can recognize and honor their fatherhood in its many iterations.
But, there is something we can’t do for them.
We can’t be fathers.
Grieving dads need other grieving dads.
They need the words and the support and the companionship of other fathers like them.
Fathers who have known loss and who are living lives touched by grief.
Fathers who know what it’s like to hold the hands of their child’s mother as the helplessness takes hold.
They need to share experiences with someone who has also paced hospital floors in despair and sat in uncomfortable chairs while receiving devastating news.
Dads need each other.
Take a moment to consider what it has meant for you, as a mother who knows loss or infertility (or both), to read about another mother with an experience like yours.
It means everything to you to know that there is someone out there who can empathize with your story.
Now, take a moment to consider what that could do for the fathers we know.
I considered this very idea and I reached out to this incredible community with a request: Please share resources for fathers created by other fathers.
For me, it was crucial to gather content that was from other dads because that is what dads need. It was necessary to find dads with varied experiences who offered a variety of option.
Because that’s what our fathers need. They need the options that the mothers in this community have.
Instead of offering up one dad, I wanted to offer a community.
I can now say with confidence that grieving dads are out there.
There is a community of fathers out there and they are eager to connect with other fathers who have experienced the heartbreak of building a family and the overwhelming love that fathers have for ALL of their children.
Please share this list of resources with the dads in your life.
Besides our own love and support, the greatest gift we can give our dads is the love and support of one another.
Because dads grieve too and they need other grieving dads.
Resources for Grieving Dads
Blogs and Websites:
- A Father’s Grief
- Pine Cones and Study Days
- Daddy To A Rainbow & A Star
- Dads Grieve Too Series on Hannah Pontillo: Trying To Navigate Life After Child Loss
- Mia’s Legacy
- Diary Of An Almost Father
- Shoebox Full Of Memories
- Pillars of Strength
- Grieving Dads
- 36 Things To Do For Those In Grief (Essay)
- I Am Still A Father (Essay)
Facebook Community Pages and Groups:
- Dad Minus One (Facebook Page)
- Grieving Dads – To The Brink and Back (Facebook Page)
- Grieving Fathers (Facebook Page)
- Diary Of An Almost Father – Men’s Group (Closed Facebook Group)
- Sad Dad’s Club: MISS Foundation Support & Social Group (Closed Facebook Group)
- Grieving Fathers (Closed Facebook Group)
- Pregnancy After Loss Support – Group for Dads (Closed Facebook Group)
- The Grieving Dad’s Project (Closed Facebook Group)
Books (Links will bring you to Amazon page for book):
- A Guide For Fathers: When A Baby Dies by Tim Nelson
- Grieving Dads: To The Brink and Back by Kelly Farley
- From Father to Father: Letters From Loss Dad To Loss Dad by Emily Long
What resources for grieving dads would you share?
Rachel Whalen is a mother, wife, and Kindergarten teacher from Barre, Vermont. Her life’s work is to keep the memory of her daughter, Dorothy, alive through words both spoken and written. Rachel shares her family’s journey through loss and all that has come after on her blog: An Unexpected Family Outing.