I know you have a hard time facing each day without me, struggling to make sense of my death.
I see you cry before bed each night and in your car on the way to work.
I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry I had to leave so soon.
I didn’t want to leave you, but please know that although you cannot see me, I am never far away.
Those chills you get when you are all alone, it’s me giving you a hug.
I’m still here.
I’m right here.
Those beautiful rainbows that stop you in your tracks.
It’s me saying hello.
Those butterflies that flutter around you.
It’s me – reminding you that you’re not alone.
I’m still here Mommy.
You are never alone – because I am always with you.
Even if you can’t see me.
I am here Mommy.
I hear you say goodnight to me as you drift to sleep each night.
You can’t hear me, but I whisper “goodnight” back.
I wish you could hear me whisper “I love you” every day.
I love you so Mommy.
I know you miss me with every breath you take.
That every joyful moment is also filled with sadness and wonder.
The wonder of what I would be like, what I would look like, what I would become.
I wish you could see me now.
I want you to know that I’m okay.
I’m at peace now.
I know it’s not easy to get through the days.
But you keep on going, bringing me with you every step of the way.
Thank you, Mommy.
I know one of your biggest fears is that people will forget about me.
They haven’t forgotten.
You keep my memory alive.
You say my name and tell my story.
I live on through you.
I’m so proud that you are my Mommy.
You are so brave, so kind, so loving.
Although our time together was short, you always took care of me.
You are such a good Mommy.
Don’t question if I knew how much you loved me.
I can still feel your love.
It reaches me all the way in heaven.
I know there are days that you think you can’t keep going.
Days that you can’t wait to join me, just so you can hold me and kiss me one more time.
I know how much you long for that day, but please keep living.
I want you to live, to smile, to feel joy.
You don’t need to feel guilty when you’re happy.
I like to see you smile.
I love the sound of your laugh.
Please keep going.
Keep carrying me with you in all that you do.
I promise I’m here.
I’m waiting here for you.
I will always be with you, sending my love from heaven, until you can hold me again.
Don’t let go, Mommy.
I live on through you.
I’m a part of you.
I love you, Mommy.
Kelly is owner and therapist at Evolve Counseling, LLC and proud mother to three children, including her son, Parker who was stillborn at 24 weeks gestation. At Evolve Counseling, LLC she provides counseling services to individuals and families healing after infant and pregnancy loss.