• The Long Goodbye

    July 31, 2017

    Hellos and goodbyes are a big part of life. And some goodbyes aren’t so finite. I’ve said goodbye to pregnancy once my children were born, and as my children grow older I’ve learned to say goodbye to their babyhood once they turned one. Time propels us forward and we are compelled to change with it.…

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  • Will the Loss of My Baby Ever Get Easier?

    July 31, 2017

    I sat cross-legged on the carpet in our living room, my back against the cream-colored couch, my delicious, squirmy seven-month old son in my lap. There was no stopping the inertia of the full-face smile as I watched my six-year old son and three-year old daughter jump and skip and wiggle their heinies to J.T.’s…

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  • Everything Has Changed

    July 31, 2017

    Do you have a moment in your life where everything changed?  I sure do. It plays over in my mind. The vivid images flashing in my head like a movie. It’s like a bad dream I can’t awake from. My husband and I had just found out that our first child was a little boy.…

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  • Broken

    July 30, 2017

    I am broken. Shattered into a million pieces, some so small they are lost forever when I break. Each day, I lose pieces of you. I am afraid that one day there will be nothing left. That all that was you will disappear with me. I am broken. Cobbled together. Not the same since I…

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  • On the Cliff

    July 28, 2017

    And then the faucet burst.  The ground cracked open again. We slipped. And now we’re both hanging on to the side of the cliff.  Rocks keep falling into the abyss around us.  We don’t want to fall because we know how hard it is to crawl back out.  But it’s hard.  And it hurts.  And…

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  • The Absent-Minded Griever: Distracted After Loss

    July 27, 2017

    Before I lost my son, I was a fairly competent person. I was organized, prepared, and always on time. I wouldn’t have won awards or anything, but I held my life together fairly well. I remembered what I needed from the grocery store, I only had to be told a name once, and I looked…

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  • Her Name

    July 27, 2017

    It wasn’t a name I carried for years, held tight in a little pocket in my heart. It wasn’t in my mind before, when a baby was just a dream, a hope for a distant future. By the time there were two pink lines dancing in front of my tear-filled eyes, there had been so…

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