Post by Still Standing Contributor Lindsey Henke of PALS and Still Breathing
Here are 20 things I do that only a fellow loss mom (or dad) understands. I’d love to know what yours are in the comments, because even if they aren’t mentioned, I probably will relate to most, if not all.
I decided to get a memorial tattoo when I was in my thirties even though I never thought I would get inked.
I keep a special box in my closet I pull out on her birthday to spend time remembering her.
I take family photos each year with a picture of my stillborn child in them.
I post memes about grief and loss and love for my child that died on my Facebook feed.
I keep an urn with a ceramic teddy bear on it on my dresser that I touch every night before bed.
I take the same day off of work each year in order to spend a day celebrating her birthday.
I buy or make a birthday cake for my dead child.
I hang up an extra stocking with her name on it at Christmas.
Related: 10 Simple Reasons the Holidays Hurt
I light a candle every October 15th.
I ask my husband to sign my Mother’s Day card from both my daughter that lives and my one that died.
I share my story and help others.
I become friends with complete strangers on Facebook if I see a pregnancy and infant loss ribbon in their profile.
I ask others to do an act of kindness in her name if they would like to honor her too.
I say I have two daughters when you can only see one.
I dress my younger daughter in clothes that say she is a little sister.
I count her sisters’ breaths every night before I close my eyes to go to bed.
I share my dead child’s photo on social media.
I talk to her in my head when I’m scared or worried or need to make a tough decision in life.
I believe birds are her spirit coming to visit me.
I say her name every chance I get.
Thanks for understanding. What would you add to the list?