A new year. Another one without you. Another one without breathing in your scent, running my fingers through that soft tuft of hair, without watching you toddle down the hall.
A new year. Another year that goes on while my heart still beats and yours has long since stopped. The cruelest trick nature can play, to steal the one I love.
A new year. It won’t be filled with your big blue eyes, your silly laugh or the smile that made me melt into the ground whenever your eyes met mine.
A new year. Missing you. Aching you. Longing for you.
A new year. Wanting to make you proud. Wanting to carry out a legacy. Wanting to show the world that you were here, you still are mine. You still matter.
A new year. Another chance to live, not because I always care much about life,
But another year to live, because you would want nothing more than for me to take all this love and spread it around.
A new year. One year more of making you proud. One year more of saying your name. One year more of living a life inspired by the boy who stole half of my heart and carried it with him as he left.
A new year. And even with the heartache, it’s another year of living more richly because you were here. Another year in the “after”, when my life has been defined by love and purpose because that’s what happens when you lose someone you love with your whole heart. You break and then you mend, and your soul becomes richer than ever before.
A new year. One year closer to you.
Written by Lexie Bernhart of Scribbles and Crumbs