You don’t understand; you don’t have any children…

You don’t know true love until you’ve looked into your child’s eyes…

My life had no meaning until I had a baby…

To be a mother is a beautiful thing…

All these words are words I read or hear almost daily.  Do you think I have no empathy or have the ability to understand you?  Is the love I feel for others not truly love?  Will my life have no meaning if I don’t have a child?  Am I not beautiful without a child on my hip?

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Women were created to have children; it’s the “Most Womanly” thing we can do.
But what of us who can not have children?

We are made to feel trivial.

Oh, don’t you worry, you’ll have a child someday, and it will be the best thing ever!”

We are made to feel less than.

“How many children do you have?!”
She then turns her head to talk to the next woman.

Society puts so much worth of a woman on the fact that she has to or needs to have children.
Don’t you think you should start thinking about having a baby?”

Don’t you think the fact that I can’t have children already makes me feel worthless enough without you reminding me I’m another year older?

Related Post: Another “Happy” New Year: Surviving the Holiday Season After Baby Loss

Don’t you think I feel unfeminine?

“Show your stretch marks as a medal of honor of your mommy-hood!!”
As I look down at my unmarked body….

None of this was ever my choice or dream to have.  I wake up every morning thinking, “This can’t be my life; I was made for something more than…than any of this.”

I wake up regularly feeling… empty.




Written by Mandy Karges

Featured Image by Camilla Plener on Unsplash