Still Standing

Revel in Revival

Guest Post By Ginny Limer

“Bring him back! Please! Bring him back!”, but SIDS had won, and their attempts to revive my son had failed.
His passing left me breathless.  Lifeless.
My pep, my zest, my will…gone.

“Bring me back! Please!  Bring ME back!  Revive ME!”

Revival.  To revive.  To return to consciousness or life.  To be active or flourishing again.
Many of you reading this are shaking your heads in agreement, “Yes, I need a revival!” or raising your hands saying, “Me too, me too.  I want to flourish again!” You are on your knees begging, “Bring me back!” You are wondering, “How?”

There is a fine line between living and living life; just ask any grieving parent.  Living after the death of a child means barely going through the daily motions, with little care or regard for food, sleep, entertainment, or conversation.  You are numb.  You ache.  You do not find pleasure in that which once brought excitement because the broken soul left behind to mend has nothing left to give, or receive.  You are just alive, barely living.  Only breathing.  Barely.

And one day, it happens.  You inhale.
You smile.  You laugh.  You feel guilty about smiling and laughing, but it keeps happening.  You are feeling life.  Engaging in life.  Living life.  It takes effort, but it keeps happening.  You begin to eat and sleep again, feeling a desperate need to get “back to you.”  You see a glimmer of your pep, your zest, your will…coming back.  You are breathing and living, with conscious effort.  You are surviving.

Determined, focused effort will help you turn the survival of self into the revival of soul.

1.  List all of the hobbies, interests, dreams, loves, wants, and wishes that define YOU.
2.  Circle the activities or items that you have stopped, given up on, or pushed to the side through the years, and have neglected more so since grief has entered your life.
3.  Create a new list using the circled items.
4.  Add to the list any new hopes dreams, or hobbies that you may shape the new, revived you.
Grief changes and reshapes facets of our being, so it is important to take the time to discover and reflect on any new interests, challenges, or passions,that may arise from the ashes of heartbreak.
5.  Begin your revival by choosing One dream to chase, One want to attain, or One passion to reignite.
Create a Revival Journal.  Reflect upon, write about, draw, photograph, document the journey of your soul’s revival.

And one day, it will happen.  You will flourish.  You will feel a revival of your soul.  Even in grief.
Every day can be viewed as the beginning of a new year.  A new start.  A new day to gain a new perspective.  During those days, turn the bone-aching hours into soul-shaping minutes.  Turn the survival into revival.  Introduce the new you to the old you on this new day, in this new year.


Ginny Limer is a mama, teacher, photographer & philanthropist at Scared Sidless, a non profit that provides love and resources to families that have endured the death of a child.