We sat on the couch after almost two weeks of being just slightly East of ‘civil’ to one another. It was time to have a reckoning of one issue we just didn’t seem to agree upon . . . grieving.
Of course, he grieved each of our daughters in his own way, but ultimately he realized that he and I were in different places. He stated that he would never feel the way I did because he didn’t carry either of our children. He didn’t feel them move or experience birth. He would never truly understand my pain. He realized that it had forever changed me and wished that there was a way to connect again.
So, I pulled out the lawn chairs and said “Stand here with me and imagine every occasion and event that we will celebrate in our living children’s lives. Picture birthday parties, cookouts, soccer games, Christmas dinners, graduations, weddings. . . and now look at these two empty chairs. There will always be two empty chairs where our daughters should be.”
And he finally understood.